OBJECTION, Your Honor!

Continuing off of my last post, specifically the part about fandoms and fanbases: I've noticed more and more how polarized these communities have become. 

And both sides are always absolutely irritating.

On one side we have the "protection squads". The high morale troups who have build some sort of elite group inside a community, believing they stand above the rest. Typical things resulting from this are an odd sense of superiority, entitlement and false sense of justice. Most of the time these people are the ones defending artist with their life and soul, though to a completely unnecessary degree. It come to a point at which this group argues and speaks in a sense of what THEY think the artist would feel. Essentially acting as a spokesperson of someone they, too, don't even know. Common sayings are stuff like "*artist* would find this weird/disgusting/gross" "*artist* would be disappointed seeing this" "*artist* would not want this", including multiple forms of the same statements. It's accompanied with a very noticeable need to control others behavior; like implementing made up/unspoken rules of which comments and actions should be accepted inside the fanbase and which ones should not. 

I find this just as problematic as the opposite side of people not taking artists and fellow fans personal space or comfort serious ENOUGH. Actively provoking the often called "snowflakes" or "superfans" simply out of principle...to piss someone off. Not respecting artists wishes in the slightest for the same exact reason. It is just as bad not handling artists private or sensitive info with basic respect and care as babying them and being senselessly overprotective over whats essentially like, 30 year old, grown men...

Its as if nuanced thinking has completely died. I mean, is it so hard to come to the conclusion that people can find an artist attractive and that they are allowed to talk about it but ALSO that not EVERYTHING has to be commented on and posted publicly? And that there are ways to express such attraction in a respectful or disrespectful manner? BUT ALSO that sometimes exaggeration is used as a joke in the same sense and that it's not as serious? (Plus that we don't need every single person to comment on it...especially if it's the same exact thing regurgitated) Or that it is okay to want to know more about an anonymous band but also that not EVERYONE wants to see that info randomly on their discover pages? There are community spaces specially made for those topics. 

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It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas...

markets are popping up again. And honestly I am stoked for it. 

No idea why but I'm a sucker for markets and conventions of all kinds. It's fun walking past stalls and oogleing at different items for sale. Even if prices tend to be higher at places like this you will find stuff that you can't get anywhere else. 

I'm not even much of a Christmas hater, even though it might sound like it form time to time. The only thing that gets on my nerves is the fact that Samhain is overlooked every single damn year. Like, come on, let me have pumpkins, ghosts and spiders before snowflakes and Santa Clause....How else would I find gothic stuff in regular stores? 

Alas, german Christmas markets are PEAK when it comes to atmosphere. I feel like people are missing out if they haven't visited one in person. You can't properly describe it either. 

Where I live, we even have a medieval part which I absolutely adore. Though the classic Glühwein, Schmalzkuchen, gebrannte Mandeln and whatever else you will find almost everywhere on these markets are still defining of what's essentially the core aspects of german celebratory practices: Drinking and eating.

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I've officially reached a new level of psychotic

Because what the hell led me to believe it was necessary to start painting on 8mm beads to make custom ones...

At first I wanted to use my engraving tool for stuff like that in hopes paint will stick around a bit longer. Usual acrylic letter beads have their motives engraved as well after all. Sadly enough my engraving tool isn't strong enough for such a task so I had to revert to simply buffing and painting the flat surface, slap on a spray varnish and hope for the best.

It does look kinda cool implemented into jewelry though. I've made a bracelet with a band logo for now, it looks kinda neat. Though I am unsure if I will be able to paint literally anything else but linework motives, ever. My brushes aren't THAT tiny. 

Also I'm not that much of a masochist to feel the need to do that to myself, yikes.

Speaking of jewelry though, I have actually made quite a few new pieces for MYSELF for once. Made a few necklaces, bracelets and two pairs of earrings actually. 

My boss invited a coworker and me to a crafting meetup at her place a few days ago, which seemed to help with that a lot. 

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Insurance companies are a fucking scam

What are they even there for if they don't pay for medical stuff once you need it?

The damn audacity to dismiss a request for taking over costs of a surgery that you need...For an organization that takes ungodly high monthly fees off of their members they sure are incredibly stingy. Because what the fuck do you mean a breast reduction is not necessary regardless of your health problems? I even heard of some refusing to pay for chemotherapy...fucking CANCER TREATMENT are you kidding me? 

Alas, as you may have guessed I am quite pissed at my health insurance company. It's already enough work as is to collect all the necessary documents and make all needed appointments in the first place. But now I basically have double the work on my hands because I need to hand in an objection. 

As if my back and neck pain, skin inflammations, breathing and balance problems, vertebra dislocation and general lack of respect from others resulting from my chest size isn't enough of a reason. Now I have to go through the exact same process AGAIN, calling all my doctors, writing down exactly the same things, only in bold...These fuckers lost not only my doctors report from the orthopaedist but also the pictures that were taken of my chest...

Meaning SOMEWHERE in this forsaken company there are pics of my boobs circulating and I have no fucking clue who ended up "losing" them, which is incredibly unnerving.

Seriously though I will go through this surgery no matter if insurance covers it or not. If all else fails I WILL pay for it myself even if I have to borrow a loan from the bank. 

These sacks of fat are getting chopped off if they like it or not.

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It's been so damn difficult to get through any tasks at all recently to be fair. Like some sort of burnout from literally nothing. 

Maybe it's the weather, maybe it's the time of year or all the frustration from everyday life, who knows. I'm going to the Christmas market with one of my work besties today so I'll try to focus on that first.