Different.

i'm not sure why, but i've always felt this strong need to be different. i don’t like the idea of just blending in with everyone else. at school, i see so many girls who look like copies of each other—wearing the same clothes, acting the same way. most of them are mean too—they act nice on the surface but talk behind people's backs, even about their so-called friends. it’s hard to understand why people behave like that, but anyway, i’m getting off track.

the thing is, i like to wear clothes that stand out a bit from the mainstream. i even dyed my hair purple recently. but despite all this, i still feel insecure. i want to be liked by everyone, and i care way too much about what others think of me. it frustrates me that i care so much, but at the same time, i don’t want to fit in like everyone else. sometimes, i even wish i could just be boring like everyone else, because it feels easier. i end up sitting alone in class, and it makes me feel like a freak. my mind tells me that people are gossiping about me, saying bad things, even though deep down, i know it’s not true.

maybe part of the reason i want to be different is because i've always felt that way. when i was younger, i didn’t have many friends. for the first nine years of my life, i found it hard to connect with others. eventually, though, i found two really good friends, and i’m still close with them. they’re a little weird too, but in the best way. i love being “weird” with them—it makes me feel like i’m not alone.

"comparison destroys personality"

"in a society that is profiting from your self doubt, liking yourself is a rebellious act." 

this is my raccoon plush (●^o^●)