vent kinda but idk

i think one of the worst feelings is not only realizing no one really cares about you, but realizing none of your friends really care about you. like realizing its not a coincidence that in every friend group your in everyone else is closer with each other than they are with you.
recently i made an animation i was kind of proud of, so i posted it in a server my friends all have together. i worked on it practically all afternoon. but when i posted it, it got a few reactions emojis and then almost immediately got posted over by someone elses drawing.then, all my friends started talking about the other drawing. like making jokes related to it and stuff. my friends arent obligated to care about a stupid animation i made. infact, i have a habit of not really commenting on other peoples drawings in that same server! but it still really hurt my feelings i guess.i really really struggle with making friends. it dosent matter if its online or irl theres just somthing about it that makes it really hard for me for some reason. i also struggle keeping friends! i dont really like talking to people in real life, especially people i respect or people who i think are cool! and ironically, i think my friends are cool and i respect them, so i struggle talking to them. so now i dont have any close relationships with any of the people i consider myself friends with, but i guess thats better than having bad relationships. ive been feeling this sence of loneliness since i was like 11 tho so its whatever. i just want someone to care about me the way my friends care about eachother.

tldr im being cringe >_<