i h8 myself

so, for 2 yrs i had a frnd... @ 1rst she was my bsf. but like, 1 yr ago, she started being frnds with another girl. i rlly didn’t have a problem w/ that cuz she’s my frnd too, and we were a trio. but ngl, they excluded me sometimes. for me, it wasn’t a big deal tho, cuz i tried to make other frnds.

but this yr, she made another frnd... and omg, he was a guy who bullied her sis & her. idk how, but they started being frnds??? then they became bf... like, what the h3ck?! even when they were just frnds, he was always lying abt me. then he straight-up lied and said i insulted him... like, that i called him a woman, a dwarf, and stuff like that?? idk why he'd even make that up. it’s so messed up, lol. :/

so one day, she texted me, saying she was meeting up with the guy she liked earlier. i joked, ‘lol, i’ll send a pic to your bf,’ and i actually did... but i deleted it after. only, he’d already seen it. :/

he wouldn’t stop calling her, like nonstop, so she begged me to text him to make him stop. i said fine, but then we started arguing... a lot. i compared him to someone else and told him straight up: she’s NOT a slut, and she’d never leave him or use him. i thought that would calm him down, but idk, he was just so toxic and dramatic.

but then... the next day, his mom talked to her mom, and i found out he lied about me. he told her i said she WAS a slut, that she used him, didn’t love him, and a bunch of other messed-up stuff that i NEVER said. like, wtf??

she txted me, accusing me of saying all these horrible things. her mom txted too... she straight-up told me her daughter was better off w/o me in her life. i couldn’t even process it. i just sat there crying, completely broken, bc i had no idea what was going on. i didn’t even kno what lies he’d told them abt me.

i told my sis, and she tried 2 calm me down. she said it wasn’t my fault, that he just twists everything bc he doesn’t kno how 2 interpret anything. then she snapped & posted stories abt them, calling them out—saying it wasn’t my fault & maybe they should fix their self-esteem instead of blaming me.

after that, her mom sent me a threat. she said i was gonna pay dearly. i freaked out so bad bc i remembered how she used 2 use her phone 2 talk 2 ppl who had threatened her w/ death. the thought of her doing the same thing 2 me... i was terrified.

i didn’t wanna go 2 school 4 like 2 wks. i was so scared & overwhelmed. but i talked 2 my sis & 2 other ppl, and they were like, ‘if u stay quiet, ur accepting blame that isn’t even urs.’

so i decided 2 talk 2 my aunt (she’s also my psych). she said my sis was right, that i shouldn’t b scared, & that we could even report her mom 4 the threat. she told me everything was gonna b ok, but honestly, i still felt so anxious.

then the nxt day, i found out her mom was spreading lies 2 2 of my frnds. i was so mad, like, wth is her problem?? i talked 2 them & showed them all the proof, and they were like, ‘she can’t do that, it’s not ur fault.’ it felt good 2 have them on my side, but then...

at school... her mom actually showed up. she wanted 2 talk 2 me, but my frnd stepped in & told her straight-up that i could sue her 4 what she did. i was so relieved, but it didn’t end there.

the nxt day, i saw her & her mom @ school again. before classes, the school psych asked 2 talk 2 us. i was freaking out bc her mom was there. but then, the psych asked her 2 leave then the psych told us 2 just leave it all behind, saying maybe he didn’t even kno how 2 explain the situation. she kept going on abt how we had such a ‘beautiful friendship’ & how a misunderstanding shouldn’t ruin it. then she said if i wanted 2 apologize 4 ‘betraying her trust,’ i should do it... but honestly, it felt so forced, like i was being guilted into it.

then i found out his mom wanted 2 call cps. i was freaking out, but we tried 2 move on. still, my frnd & i couldn’t stop being suspicious. like, when her mom talked 2 him, he straight-up lied, saying we only talked badly abt him & that the problem wasn’t her—it was us.

we used 2 trust each other w/ our phones all the time, so we decided 2 do that again & check what he was saying. obviously, not right away. we waited 2 wks bc we remembered how he’d lied b4... we needed 2 b careful this time. everything felt so messed up.

we found convos where he was clearly trying 2 isolate her. he told her she shouldn’t have frnds like us bc we ‘betrayed’ her or whatever. he even said he wouldn’t care if she was completely alone bc he’d always b there 4 her. like, wth?? he said it’d b better if she stayed away from us—and even her own sis.

and she... agreed?? she said stuff like, ‘they’re not my frnds, just classmates,’ like we didn’t mean anything 2 her. then she went on abt how she was used 2 being excluded, which rlly hit me. in class, every time we had 2 do group work, they’d stick 2gether, & i had 2 find other ppl 2 work w/. we were supposed 2 b a trio, but instead, i was always left behind.

and yet, we stayed frnds 4 a while after all that... until i found out the truth. the funny thing is, just days later, i had a total mental breakdown, & she had the nerve 2 ask me if we were still frnds & if i considered her my frnd. i was holding my phone, but i just pretended i didn’t hear her bc honestly, what was i even supposed 2 say?

during their ‘relationship,’ they broke up at least 7 times, only 2 get back 2gether 2 days later. it was a mess. we both felt so betrayed by what she’d said, esp bc we’d always been there 4 her. like, we’d listen 2 her, support her, & help her during her breakdowns. but anytime we wanted 2 talk, all she’d say was, ‘i don’t care.’

and 2 make it worse, she trusted him way more than she’d ever trusted us. it was like nothing we’d ever done mattered.

p.s.: they broke up, & now all he does is talk sh*t abt her. like, rly?? after everything?? the audacity is unreal.