so no hawk tuah??

chat i have a horrible problem and because of it i SUFFERRRRR its literally all my own doing but im going to complain anyway because its devastating

social anxiety kills me im genuinely going crazy im about to start ripping my hair out its like, i have 454 friends on here right im terrified of looking like a friend collector the reality is that i only add people that i think are really cool and because of that i dont try engaging at all because im SCAREDDD but then if theyre the one to engage with me first i usually end up ghosting because i get scared anyway and i hate myself for it guys im a loser

im a freak okay i dont know how to talk to others i wont lie, i only have 2 close friends and thats it i literally do not talk to anyone else 

and i know that i shouldnt complain since i ghost people and so i just sound like a hypocrite but stay with me here, like any other freak, i dont know how to start or get a conversation going and im literally heavily insecure about everything i read into things i shouldnt and everytime i feel like the person doesnt like me because of something they typed or i like them too much i ghost them, not on purpose though obviously because when i go to respond and its been like over a day or 4 i get nervous and feel like, if i took this long to get back to them theyre gonna hate me so i should just never reply again and the logic is stupid LMFAOOO but i cant help it gang 

im also nervous about people hating my personality because i feel like i just come off as too sped and kind of just sound stupid when im being me, so i try to be super nice and engaging and act different and after that it gets tiring so i kind of just, stop replying because im scared that if i acted like that and then how i usually act comes out then theyre just going to think im weird which i am but its different when someone views you like that LMAOO

i have a lot of friends on here, but i dont keep in contact with anyone except like i think 1, but i want to so BADDDD you guys seriously are so cool im just dog shit at talking to people i like so forgive me if u ever messaged me and i randomly stopped its not personal im just terrified LMAO

i really need more friends to talk and play with, my only 2 friends are usually busy now and so im alone for most of the time and as much as id like to pretend im distant, i am somewhat clingy when it comes to people i want to spend time with i just want to look non chalant LMFAO but i know that a lot of people hate that so i try to act normally sighh

i was really insecure about my last two blogs but seeing people comment on ts made me giddy, i genuinely was going to delete the first one because it made me feel a PITTTT in my stomach i was so nervous but people were really nice which i was really happy about

im probably going to feel the same about this one unless i delete it, i have cool people added which im terrified of them seeing the loser i am frick

does anyone else flip out wjen you get a comment on your profile..... it makesme feel special thank you to the people who have done it i hope you know i probably sat there and stared at it for a while

ANWAYS this was more of a loser post so im scared but if anyone wants to add eachother on disc, tiktok, insta, idk, any other social or games lmk....... esp if you love yaoi #fudanshi LMFAOAOAO or if we have a lot of similar interests.... or if youre also really weird i just want more people to talk to daily

i feel cringe dont hate me guys if this one icks you out 🌀🌀🌀🌀🌀🌀🌀🌀🌀🌀🌀🌀🌀🌀🌀🌀🌀🌀🌀🌀🌀🌀🌀🌀🌀🌀🌀🌀🌀🌀🌀🌀🌀🌀🌀🌀🌀🌀🌀🌀🌀🌀🌀🌀🌀🌀🌀🌀🌀🌀🌀🌀🌀🌀🌀🌀🌀🌀🌀🌀🌀🌀🌀🌀🌀🌀🌀🌀🌀🌀🌀🌀🌀🌀🌀🌀🌀🌀🌀hypnotizing u.......