when your flame flickers, mine does the same. (about struggles with autistic attachment and twin flames.)

we met on any other day, a day i like, a day it rained, 

my face flushed pink from a heat, from pain,

a fire light soul and a friend i made. 

middle school jitters, i scorn myself for much,

i mistook our matching souls as something lush, 

awkward and disturbing was a schoolgirl crush.

despite it all, i kept it quiet,

melted it down until i could apply it,

i felt like a corpse, stalking, nearly lifeless. 

who knew I could be so addicted to someone's words?

the way a mouth moved, and eyes scanned the world? 

and when your heart broke, broke my own, and i unfurled. 

your fire light soul was dim, so was mine,

we matched in time, and in protest i climbed

to find a way to reach your mind, intertwined. 

i discovered something that took me a long time to name, 

it was that, when your flame flickers, mine does the same,

was never love that guided me, yet so hard to explain. 

wish i’d seen it before, when we met on that day,

so we could be friends, it would have been okay,

to know you as well as i know you today.