I miss my bf

I miss my bf so much. He's going to be back home on Friday, I'm not sure at what time but I do know for a fact that it is going to be on Friday...unless something happens. Last night I had a whole ass panic attack because I'm so used to being on the phone with him at night. I ended up calling my sister and was on the phone with her until like 1-1:30AM. She honestly has helped me so much and is amazing, I honestly feel like I don't deserve her or my boyfriend sometimes. I've been doing Pokemon research and have been playing Mouthwashing as well as Stardew Valley as something to do to pass the time. I keep trying to find things to do to pass the time, but it is kind of hard to do because I'm used to my bf helping me pass the time and helping distract me from day to day life. So, having him gone is kind of shitty to me and not going to lie, if I could take him away from everything going on, I 1 million % would. I feel that every person that has ever wronged him or my sister deserves to burn in hell and should get everything they deserve. A thing that me and my bf have started before he left was Pengu! Pengu is a virtual pet that we both share on our phones and both take care of it together. With him being gone, I've been taking care of our son Salad Fingers for the past few days by myself. I am so excited for him to see Salad Fingers for when he gets out! And honestly I have never missed someone minus my sister and mom this much. I was sobbing in my bed last night, having a full blown panic attack because of how used to being on the phone with him I am. I also found out the day that he left that I am getting diagnosed with Autism and ADHD, which does explain the reasoning behind my freaking out minus my actual love.