me vs. maradona vs. elvis

25/11/24

and i was never able to reach her

the instrumental beginning of 'crystal baller' by third eye blind reminds me of 'landslide'

and did you understand what i meant? 

and it's not getting harder but for a brief moment i thought i'd been delusional, thinking i'd just have to feel this way forever. but then i saw you again looking a little more happy and a little more scruffy and i realised all over again. 

and she said maybe this is the wrong audience for this but isn't he looking handsome. maybe that's because i like him so much but he's really starting to look handsome now. 

and i know she's right cause you're growing up and i am not and i have no right to ask but i want to know how much she knows. does she know what you told me? and how heartless i am? and you told her his name so what did you say about him? i never wanted you to know his name. 

a decade under the influence 

pretty disappointed. 

well i've been pretty disappointed for the past 17 years 

i was pretty disappointed when you told me you'd be there and then you weren't and i cried behind the car. 

i was pretty disappointed when you made me cry at that gig cause i wasn't a good enough daughter

i was pretty disappointed when you didn't come to the show to watch me even though i got stage fright and fucked it all up.

i was pretty disappointed all those times you didn't listen or told me i treated you like second family and then didn't invite me to anything with the family. 

i've been pretty disappointed for the past 17 years 

can you blame me

i'm a fast learner 

and i want to be happy on a day that's important to me. 

but i am sorry that i'm not what you wanted 

cause when i talk to you on the phone, well, it's just like being alone 

this distance seems terrible 

and i wonder how long we will last. 

i fear you will get sick of my repetition

i had a vision of seeing things straight, she had the heart of a liar 

i don't know why i did it. dating just seemed so trivial for you. it seemed wrong. i didn't want the awkwardness and the questioning and the never-quite-knowing 

and i let you down. 

and i'll never not be jealous but i'm glad we're still friends and i'm sorry i put you through that 

and i'm sorry i didn't understand the rest of it. 

hope you're all ok 

yours

miss  misery