AroAce thoughts. I wish I could feel romance normally.

I'm so jealous of people who get to feel love and desire towards other people. Every time i see people complain about how annoying it is to keep getting your heart broken I just feel jealous and bitter. I want to experience love and all the pain that comes with it.

I think I could do a relationship. I can logically understand what is important in a relationship and I'd love to find someone to stick with through everything. Id love to go on cute little dates, have passionate make out sessions, support someone through out our life, blah blah blah... But at the end of the day I never like people strong enough and consistently enough to justify going through the effort to get in a relationship.

Plus even if i did everything right I feel most people wouldn't want to be with someone who doesn't find them sexually attractive and has more important things in life than romance. If I truly loved this person id want them to be with someone else.

Ive considered dating fellow aroace people but that's hard when you are a physically affectionate person and you're sex favorable. I'm too weird for "normal" people but too "normal" for aroace people.

Is it truly important that i find you attractive if everything else in our relationship is going well? I will literally do any action you want out of a relationship you just need to understand I'm doing it because I want you to be happy and satisfied, not because I want it. And i don't understand why that's bad. Does my dedication to you mean nothing just because I don't feel traditional romantic and sexual feelings? I guess people want to feel wanted and I'm a don't act unless asked to person...

Last thing i want to do is experiment if I could still be in a relationship despite this and end up hurting someone in the process.