fashion dream

today my friend looked at me and asked if i want to be a fashion designer or do anything in fashion. i guess he guessed it by looking at the way i styled my uniform but it was only minor changes. scarf covering my mouth and nose, coat with fur on the hood, gloves on. i'm not entirely sure if it was that, but it was the first time he asked. i joked around saying "well yeah but i didn;t pick the right gcses so oh well" but now that i think about it. i so badly want to do fashion. i haven't had this feeling in so long, i'm not brave enough, i'm not brave enough. i won't pursue it no matter how much i long for it, and that will be on me, and i will forever have to bear that pain and regret with me, inside, till my grave. it hit hard, it really did, i'm such a coward