pain for today

woke up today with the nastiest migraine i’ve ever had in my life. coupled with the fact that when i stood up, i ran into my chair in fell because i was so disoriented. i ended up calling off of work because i am barely functional with the amount of pain im in. 

i’ve come to realize i really need a break from work. i’m exhausted mentally, emotionally, and physically. the demands of my job are making it nearly impossible to take care of myself since every file i have requires so much brain effort. it makes it harder because the work isn’t consistent, and i find myself easily distracted since my ADHD is only just getting medicated and i don’t have a high dosage of medication. 

my boss texted me today, saying that he was wrapping up my files and he found three errors i’ve made. then made the comment that im not allowed drawing at work anymore. which kinda bums me out because the drawing i do helps alleviate some of my anxiety that im battling every day. alas, i should pay more attention to my files when i have them. it’s just hard when i don’t always have something to work on and im trying to battle the boredom that comes with working an office job. 

it was easier to stay on task when i was doing more work. since he took certain responsibilities off of my plate, i have more time for distractions and need something to fill the dead time when i dont have much to do. 

anyways just wanted to rant. 

tootles, 

Mother