I am almost seventeen

and I have absolutely no idea what I'm gonna do with my life. sometimes I feel like my boyfriend doesn't like me anymore, and that he wants to leave and not move in with me (we've been together for a really long time) so I'm scared I'll just become washed up. I'm not sure what to do. sometimes I think I should just die so I don't have to be an adult, but when I express this to anyone I'm a coward for not killing myself, but I'm also a coward for avoiding the future or my problems with death. I feel accepted by nobody. absolutely nobody. I don't want to die though, I just don't know what I'll do if my life fails.