thoughts...

i’ve always found journaling difficult because i don’t ever really allow myself to just write what’s in my head. there’s too much time to think when i have a pen in my hand. i tend to overthink every word. even when i type. but at least this way i can just let the words flow like brain vomit and then look back. that’s another problem though. i always look back. the issue with typing is that editing is too easy. but the issue with writing is that there’s too much time to think. i don’t know. i feel like i should just stop thinking. just let the stream of consciousness flow onto the screen or the page or whatever. it’s hard. for me at least. just to get out of my own head. sometimes i feel like some bootleg rapunzel and my own brain is my tower. i gotta shatter the dome. or whatever. i’m no good at metaphorical speech. i think this has been a successful attempt at letting myself be free with words. the only thing i’ve edited are my typos. and those i just kinda correct as i go. anyways. i have a cello lesson to attend. and im two minutes late already. i’m gonna try this makeshift journaling thing out more often. i need to make sense of what’s in my head. see you soon.

xo, j