Dear, old friend

Dear, asshole.

I know you'll never read this because you most likely don't even have an account on here, or even know this website exists, or if you somehow, in the less percentage chances, have an account on here i'm sure you won't come across mine. 

But I just want to say how much I hate you. How much I hate you for leaving me, leaving our friendship so easily like as if it was nothing, like as if I was nothing... I still don't understand how you left so easy. How did you do it? I want to know so bad but I don't wanna talk to you because I am full of hate when it comes to you. I loved you so so much, you were my best friend, you were my everything, you were my star, my other half, my universe... but you walked away as if I was nothing. I was going through such a dark time in my life and you said you'd be there for me.. but within a few days you left with no notice.. no explanation, no nothing. You stabbed my heart, you ripped it out, you tore it apart, and i'm still having to pick up the damn pieces! I thought you cherished our friendship like how I did, I thought you wanted to be friends for a long time.. but I guess I was wrong, I guess it was nothing. 

You moved on and I sometimes feel like I'm still stuck in the same place. You moved on so quick and you were quick to wanting to fuck my ex. I now feel like I never meant anything. And it sucks because some part of me still misses you, but I know you don't. I don't know how to explain how much I hate you, how much I'm hurting. I'm doing fine without you but you still left scars on my heart. 

We kinda reconnected this summer and I can tell it wasn't the same at all, it was weird because I was talking to you but it's like I wasn't talking to the person I knew before. They're gone and you've changed. Don't get me wrong, i'm happy you've changed for the better. But it was clear that I don't know you anymore. 

I may hate you, but some part of me is always going to wish we worked things out and stayed friends in another life. But I hope things that remind you of me haunt you, that you'll always feel some sort of guilt for what you did. But you may never feel guilt. You hurt me so so bad, my heart still aches. I regret meeting you. I hate you. 

If I could, I'd go back in time and save myself from you.