unrealistic

11/19/2024

I do not want to find myself living a typical life, i dont want to get caught in the loop.  My mom told me a while ago that my 'romance expectations' are unrealistic, but everyday i continue to see wild and 'unrealistic' things happen.  I can't be the only human being on earth who has unrealistic romance standards, THAT I know for sure,  I know theres someone who is the exact same way.  I'd prefer to not let my one life on earth mold into some typical endless loop of bland days and weeks.  I want to pursue my unrealistic ideals, I want an unrealistic life and future.  Why should I just give up and obey the typical lifestyle that others find peace in.  I dont want to settle for anything less, I dont want to find myself giving up and allowing life to take me in its arms and follow the typical life that so many get caught up into.  Theres nothing wrong with that, everyones different and wants different things.  Im not settling for the things that are in arms reach, I want to find exactly what i want.  I want so much color and liveliness in this future im molding together.   I dont want to look at people around me for inspiration, I want to figure out my own things so I can create my own unique lifestyle that I wont regret.  I dont want to end up like my parents, i love them, but they seem so typical.  Not in a bad way, they love eachother!  I dont see much spark sometimes, I find my mother running this whole house with her own hands,   shes the one who supports everything.  I imagine sometimes what amazing things she couldve pursued if she never married my father or step-dad.   She told me she used to want to be a writter,  she loved basketball and even set school records on her school track team.   She is so skilled,  she couldve been so much.  I feel bad for her sometimes, but I also know she loves this life she has, and I love her.  But I dont love the idea of living the life she does, how she sees my romance ideals 'unrealistic'.  Maybe her assuming so many things were 'unrealistic' was what held her back.   Thats not what I want