I’m scared

So I know this is something I really don’t have to rant about and I really should keep it to myself but I’m so scared of my family finding out I’m trans and Omni. I really don’t want my cousins to hate me. I know they were taught hate but I love them. I really do. It’s one of the only reasons I don’t want to fully leave my house. I’m scared they won’t be safe without me there. At least when I’m there I get the worst of it because they hate me. I don’t want them to experience the same things I have and feel the same trapped feeling I have my entire life. I can’t leave them. I want so badly to move out. But I can’t. They need someone. And from what they’ve told me I’m all they have. I can’t let them find out I feel the way I do about being Omni and trans. Their parents would be so mad. I wouldn’t be able to see them. And I don’t think they would see me the same way as they once did. Maybe I shouldn’t be trans. Maybe I’ll be ok being straight. Idk. Maybe I can convince myself I don’t feel this way for them. I know I just came out to my friends but maybe I shouldn’t have. Idk man. I mean I was never happier than when I was with my gf at the time. And I miss her now still. But if it means that the way I feel would keep me from them maybe it’s worth not being that way. For them.