i want him back but i hurt him

GOOD THINGS DONT LAST, AND LIFE MOVES SO FAST...…

Logan, when we first ever got together, we unfortunately met right after my 10 month relationship 

with (we're just gonna call him dean) dean ended. I didn't understand what giving myself time to 

heal meant considering that was my first long-term relationship ever i literally thought i was over 

dean so quick. but you logan , you were a pure sweet soul so selfless. the entire one month of 

being together was amazing. 10 months with dean and not once have i felt seen and loved like 

how you made me feel. i was shocked realizing this is what love really is but... towards the ending 

i was unloyal and started talking to my 10 month relationship again. that didn't help and i 

didn't know what that would do to me. clearly i never healed and unfortunately didn't stop loving 

him. i broke you and broke the trust we built in just a month and went right back to him. that hurt 

you insanely. seeing you cry and beg on facetime telling me you'd forgive me and just to not 

leave you. anger arose and you blocked me on everything i couldn't even make a new insta and 

contact you. 

well. 6 months go by, i was with dean for a good while until me and him broke up because he 

never knew how to treat me, i was never happy. i spent a lot of my time having hope that he'd 

become better with time but that never happened so i left him. i gave myself a week of healing 

because i figured maybe thats what i need. i started thinking of you again logan. the good 

moments we had, thought to myself what me and you had in such a short time was real and i felt 

like thats the kind of love i wanted. but i was blocked on everything. i had came up with a great 

idea at work though, i got my coworker to text you. asking you to unblock me. and you did, i sent 

you a hugeeeeee apology about how sorry i was for the wasted time and especially the unloyalness 

to you. you didn't deserve that. thank god you forgave me , we hungout and the first day we 

hungout we got back together. your parents still scared me ofc because they were extremely mad 

at me when i did hurt you. it took me a bit to feel extreme love for you, i didn't think it was 

possible but it happened. i started to see myself fall into this deep real love for you. we had 4 

great months of love and happyness. we hungout all the time, your graduation was gonna be 

coming up and i was so nervous but so excited to see you up on that stage. i loved the walk 

around the neighborhood on new years we had. we spent that night talking about houses and 

money savings and our future. we talked about me moving in and how i would want your room to 

fit all my stuff. i remember our scarlet scoop date, the icecream was melting so bad and all the 

napkins you brought out to me. the nights i slept over and we ate food in your bed and you would 

hold my drink for me, you offered to spoon feed me too. taking pictures in downtown houma by 

the lights. that one night we played games with your parents it was so fun and funny. the car rides 

i loved. i loved your mom she was so amazing. when me and her went to CVS together and had a 

great talk. the mornings when i was scared to go to the bathroom by myself and i woke you up 

and you walked with me. the many times we played left 4 dead together. i feel like we were always 

laughing , always laughing. we had it SOOOOO motherfucking good man. I WAS HAPPY AND YOU 

WERE HAPPY. WE HAD HEALTHY COMMUNICATION. i remember this time we were in a bad spot 

and you said "i guarantee you'd have more arguments and less communication with anyone else" 

YOU WERE SO RIGHT. i remember you sitting on the counter making food for us. omg when i 

helped you with a project and it was one where you had to video yourself and we could NOOTTTT 

keep a straight face or stop laughing. life was so good . I CANNOT THINK OF ANY BAD MOMENTS 

WE HAD. but then something happened. idk what it was, fear, hope, loneliness.  i felt like i was 

being selfish towards the end so i broke up with you because you 100% deserved better from me 

being so selfish and only thinking of myself towards the end and i remember my last saying

was "please i dont want this to be on bad terms" and all you could say was "im tired" . I FUCKING 

RUINED SOMETHING SO GOOD. YOU AS A PERSON YOU WERE SO EMOTIIONALLY INTELLIGENT. 

YOU WERE SO GREAT AND I RUINED IT BECAUSE IM STUPID LIKE THAT. i miss us , and i miss 

you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. you even quit drinking and smoking and vaping because 

you know i didnt like any of it. you were so good. i know if i tried getting you now you wouldnt 

even talk to me. some days i drive by your neighborhood hoping someway somehow i can just see 

your face. i use my brothers phone to look at your instagram and see how youre doing. you vape 

now and drink :/ i just know that. that was my fault. i miss you extremely. maybe years from now 

ill try again, maybe then you'll believe i changed because itll be years . its only been 9 months 

since we ended. i just know you would not come back and forgive me. i never got to see you 

graduate but just know , i watched the ceremony live as it was happening and saw you walk the 

stage... 

i miss you, please come back.

also if anyone wants to send this to him please do maybe he'll come back :(