What are you even waiting for?

Lately, I've been stuck in a serious rut. I don't have any drive or motivation to achieve any of my goals and dreams and I just don't understand how I can pull myself out of it. Now, I don't want to sound ungrateful, as I am thankful for my family, my pet, my home and my job. I just know that I am capable of more. 

I know, it sounds so dumb and mundane, but this is my only true safe space where I can just be myself and spill out my heart. I don't really FEEL like I have anyone to talk to who can lift me up, aside from my (kinda) twin brother but he's already got a busy life and has his own thing going- so I spare him. The point is- I don't have anywhere to turn, but maybe that isn't so bad- I'm capable of going about anything on my own and I always have. 

Maybe that's what I should do, y'know? Write my goals down, speak it into existence and make a commitment to myself WITHOUT telling the people in my life. (I love them, but they are a huge distraction and can sometimes be negative and discourage me.)

Well, I am going to start the first part here because why not? I know the first thing is that I want to go back to college and get my masters. After that? I have no clue. But hey it's a start!

I don't even know what the point of posting this was because no one will see it, but I think that's what also makes it so freeing.