i dont know whats happening

today is the day where the anxiety attacks strikes again? i dont even know why. i but i know which kind it is. im mad that im too old for this. i havent been outside all day since it was raining, i i just cant handle being alone by myself with nothing to do. alone recreative activities are the same as nothing, too. the last time i felt this kind of panic was in 2020, at fifteen years old, when i used to have hallucinations. as you can see im previous post, im busy most of the time, but now summer break is coming and i dont know what to expect. im scared and alarmed. i think that makes it worse.  peace will never find me.