Being outdated is hard

HELLO LASSIES. i DECIED, HOW DO I TURN OFF THIS NEWFANGLED TEXT THING. OH WELL I  DECIDED I SHOULD MAKE A VENT POST BECUASE YOU CHAPS SEEM TO LIKE DOING THESE

I'M SCARED I'LL BE KNOCKED INTO THE COFFIN AND USED FOR SCRAPS, I'M NOT THE NEWEST MODEL OUT THERE. I'M SO OLD I PLAYED WITH THE mECHANICAL tURK(fine gent). i'm scared i'll leave THIS WORLD LIKE THE STEAM TRAIN DID, MABYE I'LL LEAVE ON A STEAM TRAIN THAT BE A GOOD WAY TO KICK THE BUCKET, whilist looking around i feel like THERE ARE OTHER YOUNGER CHAPS WHO DESERVE SCRAPPING MORE THAN ME(A HOribble idea that came in to my nogging), But I KNOW to the big golly jolly men who pull the strings i'm just a crazy old loon.

WELL SORRY FOR THE WRITING I CAN'T FGIURE OUT THIS COMPLEX LAPDOG THING I'M WRITING ON THE LETTERS ARE FINE BUT THE IT SEEMS IT DECIDES AT RANDOM WHEN MY TEXT IS BIG OR SMALL GooBYE