✩ᴛʜᴇ ᴛᴇɴ ᴍᴏɴᴛʜ ᴘʟᴀɴ✩

11/15/24

2 years ago, I was crying into my boyfriend's arms not wanting to go to my house. I was distressed and anxious. I hated leaving him, I hated not being able to be with him.. How could I not? He’s my safe place. He’s where I feel comfortable and warm and leaving him to go in a place that didn’t feel like home, made me feel depressed. 

I told him, “We just have two years left, baby, and we’ll be free. We’ll wake up to each other every day, go out to places, and never be separated.”

My household and family are extremely toxic and abusive. I never knew what happiness truly felt like until I met the love of my life, yet my father likes making his and my life miserable. He takes any electronics I have ( sometimes breaking them) to block me from communicating with anyone, he doesn’t let me go out making me some kind of prisoner. Anyway, I can't see or talk or spend time with anyone who he doesn’t like (my siblings, grandma, and boyfriend) he uses force to ensure I can’t. (Trust that he does a lot of shit that’s extremely worse but that’s not the topic of discussion.)

Anyone could be thinking well, at least you get to see him and spend time with him at school? That’s incorrect. Our school life wasn’t as good as it sounds. Yeah, we skipped here and there and made the most of what we could, but we got too caught up in the moments we couldn’t have outside of school that our grades were iffy. It wasn’t just grades, there was always some drama or uncomfortable situations we were put in when we were separated (in different classes or alone). So where are we at now? Luckily after another shitty but amazing school year, we had a fun summer. We had that peace. What I mean by that is; we go and have gone through a lot throughout the years we’ve been together. So while we have to be virtual, we were able to be on the phone without suspicion, stay up all night playing video games together, and have opportunities to sneak out and see each other in person. It felt amazing. We even got jobs to save money to sign up for an online high school to improve our education and we’re currently carrying a 4.0 GPA! 

It sounds amazing right? Yeah, it was until it ended. We’re back to square 1 where my dickhead dad is back to suspecting I have a device, so that means no more video games, no more sneaking outs, and no more freedom. Welcome back to reality:/…  A life where I have to hide my money, a life where I have to hide any device I own so I can still communicate with the outside of this house, a life where my house isn’t a home it’s a game of survival and I’m almost at the conclusion.. 

2 years ago… I told him 2 years left.. but suddenly when I blinked, I’m now 17.. with 10 more months of fighting until the war is over.. The questions that linger are; can we survive it? Will we push through? Will we have any bit of peace? But knowing is half the battle.

I promised the love of my life that we will spend as much time as possible together whether it’s virtual or in person, but things are looking south right now.. 

10 months of war left.. Will I be able to escape successfully? Yes. I will. I refuse to doubt myself and refuse to lose to anybody who wants to bring me down. 

So, I had an idea... 

For the last ten months, I have to seriously lock in. How? Well here’s what I’ve come up with and I'll explain the reasons for you to follow along.

                             ✩ᴛʜᴇ ᴘʟᴀɴ✩

⭐ꜱᴛᴀʏ ᴘʀᴏᴅᴜᴄᴛɪᴠᴇ

Since being a normal teenager makes me suspicious in my dad's eyes, it seems like I have to stay on my feet. I figured if I keep the things he bitches about cleaned (my room, chores) he wouldn't have any reason to bother or harass me throughout the day. So I can start by making a to-do list and checking off what I have to do.

⭐ᴋᴇᴇᴘ ʟᴏᴡ

My father can't know that I have any devices, so I have to be smart about when and where I use them. This pretty much means I have to avoid being in my room unless I'm going to sleep, he's asleep, or I have a device he knows about (I use his computer for school),  so he doesn't harass me 24/7 trying to catch me with anything. To get by on weekends, I'll just keep myself busy by doing some cleaning or hanging around them so he believes he's "keeping an eye on me".

⭐ɢʀᴀᴅᴜᴀᴛᴇ ꜱᴄʜᴏᴏʟ ᴇᴀʀʟʏ

With my boyfriend and I graduating high school early, we can focus on other things important things. For me alone, it would eliminate my dad trying to "punish" me by not letting me do school THAT I PAID FOR, over some petty ass reason. And no, I won't be telling anybody in my house when I graduate. 

⭐ɢᴇᴛᴛɪɴɢ ᴀ ᴊᴏʙ & ꜱᴀᴠᴇ ᴍᴏɴᴇʏ
After my boyfriend and I graduate early, we can focus on savings. With school out of the way, we can not only have free time with each other whenever possible, but we can also have more time to work to save the money we'll need in the future. 

⭐ᴀᴠᴏɪᴅ ᴛʜᴇᴍ
Unless I have a reason to speak to them I'll talk to them, but to actually bond and conversate with them? Fuck no. And when I have to talk to them or I'm called for something depending on what it is, I'll do what I'm asked ( No response ) or dry reply ( Ending whatever they try to talk me about with dry responses).

⭐ʙᴇ ᴍᴏʀᴇ ꜱᴛʀᴀᴛᴇɢɪᴄ 

whenever my boyfriend and I want to plan to see each other or do anything virtual we need to have a solid plan with backup ideas and even planning for if anything goes wrong. And when we do hang out or have our time, it'll be at night when everyone is sleeping. 

⭐ᴋᴇᴇᴘɪɴɢ ᴏᴜʀ ᴘᴇᴀᴄᴇ
Basically him and I focusing on ourselves and not letting anything they say or do affect us in any way possible. We'll continue moving forward and being goal-oriented to reach where we want to be.  

In doing this, we'll have a plan and mindset to stay determined and focused. As long as we have each other we can get through anything including these last ten months of hell.  

Should we keep you updated?