❤️ diary #16 💚 11/16/2024 ❤️

I had a whole thing typed out and I accidentally deleted it so now I'm so mad and I don't wanna retype it and thinking about retyping it is making me mad but I'm going to retype it no matter how much i don't wanna 

November is my absolute least favourite month which sucks bc it's in between Halloween and Christmas UGH

anyhow i read through some of my older entries today and it inspired me to write in this diary again. my friend agreed with me when i said i needed a diary though i think a lot of what i want to vent about should probably be private. regardless, i'm going through a rough time right now and i know i'm going to miss this era of my life already. i want to remember where i was and what i was thinking and how i got through this hard time

so i woke up at maybe 8 and said hi to elfwynn, she said she was going to a coming of age type party which made me feel terrible and jealous. I never got my own sweet 16 or really had any friends to do it with. the ones i did try to bring into a little gathering slept in. but poppy was there and i love poppy very much.

someone also tried explaining my own religion to me. i try REALLY REALLY hard to be non defensive and keep an open mind but idk it's hard and i wish everyone would listen and we could all be happy 

anyway she said i should go back to sleep sooo i did and i had a weird dream but i don't remember it

when i woke up i opened the blinds, made my bed, fed the cats, cleaned the litter box, folded some laundry, and started a new load of laundry :3

i talked to my friend lemon some about this girl they're trying to impress for a bif and then i started studying

i am a little bit stressed out because I have an anatomy test and a chemistry test, two days in a row, and i know NOTHING 😭 somehow i always do well but idk what about finals??? and going to the next class???? whaaa 😭😭😭 im scared

it doesn't help that i didn't do as much studying as i intended to do but i did have a yummy little coffee with me so yay

after that i went on YouTube and watched some videos covering the lore of some mobile games from like 2011 while i made a Christmas list. like angry birds, plants vs zombies, and talking tom. it was very brainrot iPad kid of me but i don't care i love plants vs zombies to this day it is my everything

one of them was about the papa louie games which made me go and play Papa's Pastaria for like 15 minutes LOL it reminded me of when i almost 100%'d papa's cupcakeria.

so after that i was Hungry so i went downstairs for food but my mom said to wait :( so i took a shower, and when i got out i asked a dear friend of mine to call me

something happened between us recently and i was worried it would be awkward because of that. i really really care about them and love them and their company and i just hope they know that. it went really well and idk im just grateful they still want me around 

i think i made them upset though :( i didn't mean to 

They r also probably reading this . I wonder if I should even post that part

anyway after that they went to bed and rubber asked me if i wanted to make a kin board and YEAH OFC

i went and had some dinner afterwards and hung out with my parents. and watched football. I put some ornaments on our family Christmas tree because im always the one who puts the ornaments on all the trees LOL 

I won't post any photos of that tree as there's a lot of personal info there but it's so pretty and tall and big and sparkly !!! :3 

we talked about the new wicked movie, my theater teacher, and my ballet teacher. she was googling stuff and everything trying to learn about them lol

ugh I can hear my sister playing her guitar. I know it makes her happy but I'm trying to sleep and it makes me feel jealous but y'know what . I picked ballet. I stock with kt

also anxious for church tomorrow im too lazy to explain why bc i did when I just wrote this out before accidentally deleting it so I will just explain tomorrow when I write that entry

I have so much to do tomorrow :(

If I were to write a letter to Santa this year I don't think I'd ask for anything physical. I would ask for everything to be fixed by Christmas day, all on its own 

wh <0wbn+3j,

wh 5+j355,

p3!uq 0w wh 0wu ( u0 kj!3u95 !+ k33;5 ;!f3 )

and maybe a few of my j3;4+!0u5y!b5 

im sleepy so good night!!

i have this one song stuck in my head . it's called iris by the googoo dolls. someone on here told me that would be my song if i was a song. I wonder why 

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Listening To: Laura Shigihara - Grasswalk

Mood: Annoyed 
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