i'm not over him

it was on tuesday when i knew. i thought after 5 months i was sure to get over him, but no. even a week after i supposedly "stopped liking him" i thought i was over him, no, i only thought that to get away from the fact he didn't like me anymore. i still like him. i'm pretty sure. i thought i was over him because when he got with 3 other girls, my heart didnt drop. but it did when we had an interaction in class that reminded me of us when we liked each other, and i realised that i wasn't over him. i wish i was, i really do. it was just a small interaction, a small conversation. i thought i was over him because he became so rude, like genuinely rude. but then he wasn't. maybe thats my problem. when i helped him revise he was so genuinely respectful and wanted to get a good grade, you know? and then back in friday, we interacted again, during the test, i helped him out in the test (not the one he was revsing for), let him cheat, just like last year. i'm disappointed in myself because i'm not supposed to like him, that girl hes dating now, that should've been me. i'm so mad at myself and at him, because he wasn't brave enough to ask me out, and because i should've hinted at him more that i liked him. it's not like i can do much about that now