tbh idwk (tw vent)

i dont even know if people care about me or js feel pity atp. i feel like everything is an hallucination to keep me alive and happy. i needf my freinds to live, but i cant contact one, so they dont even know if im alive and i doubt they worry ab me. i js wanna be happy, but clearly its hard and everyones (including fucking teachers) thinks shes a monster, when she did nothing wrong, and it was MY fault. if anything, she helps me stop, and tbh is one of the reasons im alive rn (maija XDD)