How Deactivating My Twitter/X Account Saved My Life.

I never knew how bad being chronically online was until it got to my brain and made me do the most embarrassing shit known to man. I'm telling you now that I've probably done everything on that app ever since I was 14 years old and you will never know how horrible it was until you've experienced it yourself. I was a stan account for a K-pop group, had a private account to vent out my feelings, became a popular stan account for a famous video game and even went as far as to creating a roleplay account for an otome game... I even fell in love on the internet. JESUS CHRIST IT WAS BAD.

The only time I had enough of that app was when I realized how braindead everyone was on that app and how biased their opinions were... it felt as if high school had their own app. I may be generalizing over here but that's what I can see. They don't have any sympathy nor do they want to listen to both sides whenever some kind of "beef" is happening over there and lastly, they really can't take any kind of criticism even though they know damn well it is true.

I do have to admit that at some point, I became someone I wasn't proud of all because I wanted to fit in. I hated myself, and I had to put up a persona for so long and if I didn't act that way, no one will like me, and they did. I took off that mask for a second, and then it all came crumbling down like a stack of Legos idk. It came to a point where I thought everyone hated me and I decided to do something that eventually turned me into their "villain." How badly they perceived me over a simple mistake that could be solved in a matter of time, I began to overthink every single little thing and I began hating myself to the point where I felt like I wanted to just disappear forever.

That was until I deactivated.

Honestly, it was the most easiest process ever since I've done it multiple times over my lifetime in Twitter. After deactivating, it felt like everything has been lifted off of my shoulders and I felt some sense of clarity with myself. I can't believe it for myself either but as a not-so firm believer of Christ, it felt as if he was there with me after a few weeks of deactivating, even my evil eye bracelet broke and I heard it was a sign that there was no more evil surrounding me I think?? But either way, I began to heal and I felt happier than before.

I still have some thoughts going around in my mind about what could've happened if I didn't do those stuff on Twitter but thank GOD I made those decisions that night because the people in there are toxic as they can get and I never want to go back to that hellhole ever again.

(Or maybe I still secretly use Twitter but I'm not exposing myself :P -Bough)