chapter 1

ok so ye this is chapter 1:>

Dear Diary,

Looking back, I never liked TBU. All i did was go to class, go to my dorm, read my book, do my homework, sleep, then do it again. I didn't have a roommate to talk to for my first few months on campus. I also hated my major at first, but I learned to love it. It eventually meant i would have classes with my new roommate, Frankie.

I didn't like them at first either. They were quiet when they first got there, they never wanted to interrupt my routine, but eventually they started talking more and more. Their voice felt like honey on my ears, like waves hitting the sand on the beach after an amazing night of watching the stars, like finding warmth on a winter night with a book and hot cocoa. I couldn't stand it.

I couldn't stand them and their sweet voice. I stayed in the library, avoiding the sugary sweet sound of that voice asking me if i learned anything new when i got back to the dorm.

I had made a friend in a sense while in the library, at least i thought we were friends. Math, this very smart looking character who was avoiding a very bubbly and warm fox named Daze.

She started coming to the library a lot, she stole my table, actually, I don't think she knew though so i let it go. Upon seeing them at my table, though, I came and sat down across from them. They looked so out of it, clearly lost in thought, but i eventually had to speak to her because she picked up a book i was reading and almost lost my spot in the book. While we sat together, she would go off to do something and i usually took that time to take a peek at her current read.

That is when i would say our friendship began. We would have small talk, usually about what we were reading at the moment or about Daze.

I eventually got to meet this Daze. they were, in fact, very warm and very bubbly. My good friend Math seemed obsessed, but i get it, i guess. She said the same thing about me with Frankie. But i wasn't obsessed, at least that's what i told her when she first tried bringing it to my attention.

Frankie was just my annoying roommate; how could i be obsessed when i was avoiding them?

I avoided them until, eventually, Math stopped being in the library as much. I assumed she and Daze made up. So, i was back in my dorm having to endure that cavity inducing voice. i'm sure i've developed a few.

Frankie is a very shy, reserved person. Upon first meeting them, I had to practically beg them to speak. I didn't even know their major unitl a week after they moved in. That was fine though. it only became a problem when i did hear them speak.

That silky smooth melody that seemed to flow effortlessly from them, even when talking about the most boring of things. It drew you in no matter how hard you fought. I tried to seem unaffected by it, by that melody...

How could i though? it was gifted to me by the roommate gods to enjoy this sacred song as not many could. I never realized how little they spoke until someone from one of our shared classes asked me how i did it.

"What are you talkin' about? How did i do what?" I asked, very unamused as they had just interrupted a story Frankie was telling me about the places they would visit around where they lived.

"How did you get her to talk? I've heard she doesn't even speak to the teachers."

"Really? you interrupted our conversation for that? I don't see how that matters; and its them- 'How did you get THEM to talk to you?'" I turned back to Frankie who looks like they just watched me stomp a frog. Frankie loves frogs by the way.

"Come on, we have homework, and you have to finish telling me about that little shop your aunt always took you to." I usher Frankie away from the guy who is just staring at this point.

By the time we got back to the dorm a pit had formed in my stomach. 'That was pretty aggressive on my part, is Frankie upset about it?' I think as i open our room door.

They weren't saying anything, and it was making me nervous; I hate being nervous. it makes my hands all sweaty.

"Thanks Danny, I really appreciate what you did. I can see you freaking out, but i just needed to think for a second."

Calm. That's all i felt in that moment I could run and jump and scream at the tip of my lungs. they weren't mad. they just thanked me- 'did... did they just call me Danny?'

"Why did you call me Danny? Everyone calls me Holi or Holiday, even the teachers." That came out way harsher than i originally intended.

"Oh, well i just figured since we are friends i could make a special nickname for you. You can make one for me too even though my name sounds like a nickname."

All i can do is stare, watching them wring their hands and shift their weight from foot to foot, but they can't look at me.

"Sorry, I can call you Holi if you prefer. Um, i should have asked first."

"Huh... no, no its fine. My dad was the only person who called me Danny so i was just caught off guard, i guess." I turn and start taking my books out of my bag, not wanting to talk about my dad at the moment.

"Oh my god, Dan- Holi, I'm sorry. I didn't know."

"Yeah, I know, I'm not mad or anything, and you don't have to call me Holi, call me Danny. I just wasn't expecting that. Sorry for kinda' snappin' on you."

"Oh, well alright. only if you're sure though." They begin to take out their books and sit at their desk.

"Yep, I'm sure. No worries."

We spent the rest of the night in a tense silence and didn't speak to each other again until we said goodnight before bed.

Them calling me Danny brought back memories of me and my dad when i was little, when we actually decorated for the holidays, and Frankie reminded me of that in a way. 

Like the warm and happy times before- 

The next morning, we made breakfast and while we ate Frankie asked me to tell them about my dad. I didn't tell her much, just that he loved the holidays, Christmas was his favorite, and that he called me Danny.

We ended walking to class laughing about a time i got tangled in the lights trying to surprise my dad on year for Christmas and him having to cut them to get me out.

I had never thought to ask so i knew very little about their parents during our first year at TBU. We grew to be more like friends than roommates by the time second semester began though.

Frankie actually suggested the idea of decorating for Christmas after meeting Math. She wanted to give Daze their first real Christmas and, from what Frankie knew about me, they knew i would love this, but i could never admit that to Math.

I have shared my love for Christmas with Frankie on multiple occasions at this point. they suggested decorating upon hearing it was like a tradition for me and my dad.

"What if we were to get a tree and some lights? Nothing too big but still dedicated to him and his memory. Would that be ok?" That honey flavored tone wafted to me, gently cutting the silence of our dorm while i worked on my new project for my new urban planning class.

"Huh?" I replied, not expecting that.

"I mean for Christmas; we could decorate because i know you love Christmas, and you haven't celebrated in a while. Sorry if that's too much, it was just an idea i had." They fidget with the edge of their paper; it was supposed to be their paper om sustainable home designs.

"Oh. That sounds alright, i mean if you want to. I uh- I don't mind." I tried to sound as unaffected as possible but the thought of having the dorm filled with all the things me and my dad used to put up brought a huge wave of nostalgia.

All the memories of me tangling the lights while trying to help wrap them around the tree; or when building the gingerbread houses when me and my dad would eat most of the icing before we could finish and watching it eventually fall over.

"We would have to get some decorations though. We need a tree, some lights, gingerbread houses, one of those tree skirts..." I trail off, feeling insane for holding these parts of my life in for so long and now i don't even know how to express it anymore.

"Haha, you are so excited, aren't you?" Frankie says in that sweet, but teasing voice.

"That's ok, you know, I would be too. I love easter. i love hiding the eggs and all the pretty colors. My aunt used to take me to my uncles' house to go easter egg hunting with my cousins all the time when my parents weren't busy." A sadness flashed in their eyes, but it was quickly replaced with a reflection of me as they stare into my soul.

"That sounds nice. That's kind of why i love Christmas so much. My mom never really liked the holidays, and she hates them even more now because my dad and siblings loved them."

Those dark, ebony eyes stared at mine, seemingly searching for something that I cannot seem to guess; it makes me nervous. Not knowing what else to do, I look back to my paper and continue from where i was.

I can feel their eyes longer on me for a while before they too get back to their homework. The rest of the night was spent in silence. it was a comfortable silence, but silence no less.

Ok so thats it let me know what you think and if you like:]