11月🍂 How being 15 turned out for me

⚠️I'M REALLY SORRY IF THIS IS HARD TO READ⚠️

I ADDED OUTLINES TO SEE IF IT HELPS

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All I can say is that being 15 changed me

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Obviously, I didn't just transform into a whole new person on the day of my 15th birthday, and I don't mean changing as in I'm blooming into a mature young woman (nimosôm used to say that alot to me growing up)

I meant changing as in everything I used to know about myself being  derailied... (￣︿￣)

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I thought I had my entire identity figured out when I was 13. I never had any crushes (atleast not geniune ones, I pretended to have one because I thought that's what most young girls like me liked, boys) "Hmm, I must be aroace then!" I thought, all the way back in 2022

And then 2024 came along and ruin what I thought. I started to feel things... I was horrified and felt like this certain nickacado gif:

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The thing is nobody really cares about the age 15, (nah 16 gets all of that love, but personally sweet 16 is overrated, because all you can do at that age is drive. turning 18 is a lot more special imo) so I never expected this change in my life because nobody told me about it

Everything felt ruined, I felt like I lied to myself, I know this is just simply hormones but got damn do I never want to experience having any sort of attraction to a fictional character ever again, my FBI agent agrees with me too.  〣( ºΔº )〣

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Reason: it actually kind of scares me, I didn't feel like myself, and reading all of the weird things I would write about them in my notes app weeks later gets me a bit queasy. ༼ ༎ຶ ෴ ༎ຶ༽

I tend to have hyperfixations on a certain character that lasts a few days, so I know it's nothing new for me, but this whole thing just makes me feel like Mei from turning red but instead of being 13 she's 15, and I HATE that movie for being so cringe and so second-hand embarrassing. I'm already getting second thoughts about posting this, but if you're reading this then I apparently did post it

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But anyways I'm going to end this blog now. Because if I talk more on it I'm going to explode in my own puddle of shame... Byebye (III╥_╥⁠)

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🌸🐇花子Lily 2024年