depression and how to actually live with it.

so you have depression? sucks, right? yeah I agree.

but we both know you arent alone, so lets talk about it.


the main thing I dont exactly see spoken about often is that there are very much different LEVELS of depression (like in a video game or something, I'm not a gamer myself sadly.)
I see people shamed often for bad hygiene when they dont have the will to shower or brush their teeth, because a lot of things show depression as... 'level one' depression.

because 'level one' depression is more easy to grasp to people who havent suffered as much as some others, I would even argue it's romanticize-able, because thats exactly how its treated at times.
over the years I have been alive on this planet I've seen depression get more accepted and understood like with many other things, and I think thats lovely, but this specific thing comes with issues.

being romanticized.

now of course a lot more mental illnesses than JUST depression are romanticized, but depression is the main one that is, and also just purely the one I am focusing on for today.

maybe you're confused on what I mean though- 'how is depression romanticized!?' I hear you ask, so I'll explain to the best of my knowing!

getting back on track to my term of different levels of depression, it is most common to see depression depicted as just... sadness almost. But in reality this is the furthest thing from the truth, depression has many layers and depths just like humans themselves do.

which is why I think people are shocked when they find out depression is not pretty, nor is it disgusting, it is human.

not brushing your teeth or bathing for weeks is human.
not speaking to the people around you is human.
not letting yourself enjoy things is human.
feeling scattered is human.
feeling like the world is gonna end is human.
feeling worried is human.
feeling empty is human.

it is unhealthy, but human. You arent a monster or some type of creature like you might think if you do such things.

the reason why I think people dont want to see the ugly truth of depression is because its scary, and people are so BULIT on shame and embarrassment that they cant understand what its like to see a real human in its raw form. (I'm aware this isnt always the case for why deep and 'non-socially acceptable' depression isnt always shown, but its my theory on why it mostly isnt.)

and thats okay, thats why you can always teach people and yourself to be more understanding and kind, that its okay to be human sometimes. Humans are just sometimes gross and people just dont like to admit it.

my main point is that depression isnt just one THING, depression isnt a monster that lunges over your shoulder and whispers insults into your ear, depression is you.

depression IS YOU.

depression isnt what other people say it is, or what its supposed to be, depression is how YOU feel.

I say this as a person who has had depression my entire life, even as a kid-

its hard to climb out of the mud when youve been swallowed in it for awhile, but if you swim hard enough then you'll make it out fine, you'll just have dirt on you.

I know thats very corny, but its true. If you let depression eat you whole then it will without hesitating, so you have to take control of it. You are a human being and you deserve to live without shame.

what I'm trying to push to remember is that depression isnt some kind of other-worldly creature, its apart of you, and if you try to run away from it, hide from it, beat it down, or let it eat you completely, it will ruin you. I have made that mistake in the past of thinking that way, and it was the worst time of my life.



and of course, accepting this or doing this or whatever isnt going to make it go away, but it helps.
of course I'm still insecure and scared sometimes, but we're both strong, arent we?

even if things look doom and gloom lately, people will never stop being people, and people will always survive.
I know you're strong, and I know I'm strong, and together we're both human, so lets accept eachother as humans, shall we?

as of late I've mostly been focusing on my hobbies and connecting with other people again.

hobbies are very nice, its a easy way to use your brain for a bit.

so

make music.
learn a language.
draw something.
grow plants.
build anything.
start a collection.
give yourself something to be excited in again.


humans NEED connection, procreation and love is why humanity even exists.

so

call your mom.
text your friend.
talk to somebody.
give a person walking down the street a compliment.
leave a nice letter.
wave to your neighbor.

theyre always waiting for you.

even if you have no one, then you still have things to depend on. its never the end of the world.
I've only learned that very recently if I'm being honest, its hard.

but doing things DOES help, remind yourself that you're human. That is my one tip for depression

just remember that we are all human.

and thats perfectly fine.





I hope everyone has a lovely day, or night, or evening.

-forever yours, Charlie.
(sorry for any grammar or punctuation mistakes, I'm just not that academically smart)

(also, I'll add- this is my first ever time writing my feelings down in a long page without stopping, so I apologize if this seems slightly scattered or if I get sidetracked at points.)