alone

sometimes I wonder if I'm going to be alone my whole life. this was triggered by me reading the homestuck epilouges, for some reason. like obviously as much as i wish i was im not a 16yo smart doggirl on an island ( I mean I am 16yo and I guess u could count the UK as an island.) But I did always feel somewhat connected to jades narrative of not really feeling connected to her friends somewhat, though im more of a rose girl myself. but. like omg... am I gonna be like that. I fucked up my friendship with someone who got me through 3 years of my life and I had a horrible nightmare abt being in primary with the whole swimming pool drowning everything and I'm like actually scared. someone help meee. weh. anyways I've been trying to make like some utena amv recently. good old 2000s larping.  but seriously if i live like this for any longer it's like actually gonna make me lose it.