november 13th 2024

IT’S THE WORST AT NIGHT. GROUPS IDLE IN FAMILIAR STANCE BY THE ENTRANCE TO THE FRESHMAN BUILDING, DORM LIGHTS CAST SHADOWS ON THE STILL-BUSY SIDEWALK, FACES ARE LOST IN UNRECOGNITION. I’M CROSSING DIAGONAL TO ANSIN AND I DON’T KNOW ANYBODY IN THE SHUFFLE EXCEPT ONE GIRL FROM MY FIRST SEMESTER ART HISTORY CLASS WITH A FRESH HAIRCUT AND A GREEN JACKET I REMEMBER HER WEARING WHEN SHE’D STORM IN LATE TO THE PARAMOUNT FIFTH FLOOR CLASSROOM, SAME PLACE I’D AUDITIONED FOR TREBLE IN THE VERY FIRST MONTH. I’M THE ONLY ONE IN THE ELEVATOR. I SLEPT TIL NOON AND TOOK ANOTHER NAP FROM THREE TIL FOUR BETWEEN CHAPTERS OF THE SECRET HISTORY. I’M IN A RED SWEATER WITH A TEAR IN THE COLLAR. I’M NOT WEARING MAKEUP. I THINK ABOUT PRESSING THE BUTTON TO THE SEVENTH FLOOR BUT I DON’T. THERE’S A LETTER IN MY NOTES THAT I HAVEN’T HAVEN’T SENT AND I DON’T KNOW IF I WILL OR IF I WANT TO. MY CLASSROOM’S ALMOST EMPTY, AND MY PROFESSOR MAKES A PASSING JUDGEMENT ABOUT LAST WEEK’S SPOTTY TURNOUT FROM THE ELECTION. HE STEPS OUT TO SEE IF ANYONE’S IN THE HALL, LINGERS THERE, DISAPPOINTED. WE’LL BE HERE FOR FOUR HOURS.

A GIRL PRESENTS A SCENE FROM CHALLENGERS. DURING OUR BREAK I GO TO THE BATHROOM ON THE SEVENTH FLOOR BECAUSE THE EIGHTH IS TOO CROWDED. I KIND OF COWER IN THE CORNER FOR A LITTLE WHILE, STUDY THE PATTERN ON THE WALL. I WISH THE LIGHTS WOULD TURN OFF. ON THE WAY BACK THE OLD SUITEMATE WITH A MODELING CONTRACT COMES OUT THE ELEVATOR WITH A LOLLIPOP STICK IN HER MOUTH BUT DOESN’T SEE ME. THEN LIKE AN OMEN ON THE WAY OUT OF ANSIN I SAW THE GIRL WHO TOOK OVER 802 IN FRESHMAN SPRING: SHE’S ALL EUROPEAN IN DRESS, TALL BOOTS AND FAUX FUR, BECAUSE SHE SPENT HER FIRST SEMESTER ABROAD. A GOOD FRIEND OF KALEIGH’S. I SHOULDN’T THINK ABOUT THESE THINGS.

I SQUEEZE THROUGH THE GAP IN THE TURNSTILE AND BOARD THE FIRST TRAIN TO GOVERNMENT CENTER, TWO STOPS GREEN BEFORE FIVE STOPS BLUE. THE BUSKING LADY (FAVORS HERE COMES THE SUN) ISN’T AT THE WONDERLAND PLATFORM TONIGHT. ON THE BLUE LINE I LIKE THE SEATS BY THE DOOR SO I CAN REST MY HEAD ON THE RAILING. ACROSS FROM ME A COUPLE MATCHES CELTICS GEAR, I GUESS THEY’RE IN SEASON AGAIN.  I’VE NEVER SEEN THEM OR THE SOX AND I’LL LEAVE BOSTON THAT WAY. HALFWAY INTO EASTIE I LOSE TRACK OF MY SENSES AND WORK ON THE LETTER AGAIN. I SNAP OUT OF IT WHEN I REACH MY STATION. 

FIVE THINGS YOU CAN SEE FOUR THINGS YOU CAN TOUCH THREE THINGS YOU CAN HEAR TWO THINGS YOU CAN SMELL ONE THING YOU CAN TASTE THE FOLIAGE THE STARS THE CHRISTMAS LIGHTS AROUND THE FENCE THE BUS STOP THE SIGNPOST THE 

THE TRAIN BEHIND THE LITTLE LEAGUE FIELD THE