rotting in ur 20s vent

the ‘ber months are like walking into this weird, haunted space where everything is scary and kind of beautiful but you’re just… rotting?? it’s like you’re alive and aware of it but in this twisted way, where it’s both romantic and heavy at the same time. winter rolls in, the sky starts falling asleep at like 4 pm, and somehow it brings back memories of every awkward, cringe moment from hs that i thought i buried. literally no other time of year makes me feel this level of unhinged nostalgia. it’s cozy and a nightmare at the same time—so weirdly perfect and perfectly sad.

thinking about younger-me is like this cursed kind of time travel. back then, the stakes felt so high. like getting a bad grade or messing up in front of ppl would somehow end the universe. everything was amped up to a level where every feeling was full-on drama, and honestly… that kind of sucked. but it also made life feel like it was burning with meaning, ya know? everything was vivid, alive, weirdly dangerous?.

now, you finally get that “chill” life you were praying for when you were fifteen, but it instead filled with bills, work, and uni. ugh kms? lmao. life just keeps happening, and it feels like im slowly sliding off the edge of something, pretending i know what im doing. where are the handbooks for this life, where you have to relearn how to make friends and remember to pay taxes, also forgetting that i still have the same brain as before? everything’s real now, but it’s like, too real. 

it's like I’m just drifting through these years, and each winter it’s a new (old) version of the same feeling. the older i get, the faster the years blur by. 

idk, it’s like im both in love with this time and totally ready to crawl into a cave for the next few months.

anyway, here’s the link if u wanna say something weird or leave a random secret. lemme know if this vibe hits u the same way bc sometimes it feels like it’s only me. 

https://sarahah.top/u/v444mpirez

xx

- v4mpz

p.s does this sht ever get better