Diary from a psychiatric hospital patient.

Day 6

My hair still looks and feels fried even though I made sure to put in lots of conditioner in yesterday, I might try to leave it in for a longer time today, but I also don’t want to take up too much time in the shower.

I got absolutely no sleep today. Zero. Nada. Nothing. I’m hoping that today the medication will work better, or if it wont that I will just pass out from exhaustion. Things are finally moving around, I had my first ever visit with someone else but the psychiatrist, dance therapy. It sounds delightfully horrifying, and now the scary part isn’t the dancing, I can choke back my anxiety and do some type of movement that somewhat matches the music. The scary part is if she will ask me what the dance means, because girl it means nothing, I am just trying to dance to the rhythm, all this is doing is making me move around, which is still good you know, god knows I need some movement, but I don’t really feel emotions through that, that’s where art comes in handy.

Lunch was actually edible today, for dinner I got lucky and got McDonalds. My grandma and my cousin came to visit today, my cousin was more there as moral support so I don’t have to talk to my grandma alone. Both of my grandmas are interesting people, one doesn’t even know I’m here because we all know she will react horribly and if she visits all she will do is cry.

I finally finished the book I was reading, it was quite bland, I could guess most of the plot twists, the only one I didn’t guess was that one of the main characters was in fact a guy (a drag queen if you will), the whole book used female pronouns for her (and if the book did, so will I), I was to be friends with her, she sounds delightful.