tired its just a vent im wanting to get out

i feel really tired of being left behind by friends and such I feel alone constantly and with my girlfriends bpd she keeps ignoring me when she splits and it used to give me panic attacks now I get angry and I try not to but I feel so lonely all I do is sit in my room watching yourueb , gaming and go to work. i don't even have the energy to draw much any more. I'm so tired of going out and doing stuff alone, I told my family I would move back closer to home and I told my girlfriend I also wanna move closer to here but (we are long distance) if I got to the place I'm talking about with my mom then ill be a with in a couple hours of my family but Ill be 7 1/2 hours from my girlfriend and if I move closer to my Girlfriend then its the reversed neither are bad and both are fine with me but now like right now I'm considering moving to jersey with my cousin and living with her ill still be closer to my family and my girlfriend than I am right now but its 13 ish hours drive to my family/ a few hours flight and still 8 hours from my gf so its not a crazy distance so I might just do that