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Diary from a psychiatric hospital patient.

Day 5

I got what I wished for I guess, today has not been boring. 7am, get woken up, I have not slept at all, woke up multiple times during the night, once because I heard someone throwing up in the bathroom, I think it was the pregnant lady.

I do not get up. Breakfast? No. I don’t eat in the mornings, I feel sick if I do. Then medication time, I’m still half asleep as they call me out, almost faint (anaemia be like), take my meds, then get yelled at for my hair being a mess, and that I need to “Get my shit together” because the doctor will be seeing me today. Girl. I am in a mental hospital, I think unbrushed hair at the wee hour of 8am is not my biggest worry right now. I have met mean nurses no2.

Didn’t get my magnesium today as my veins did not cooperate at all, looking at my arm I know I’m going to have a big ass bruise on it. And then the weirdest thing happened, I felt the needle slip out of my veins, so I turn my head to look at it, and I see fluid start building up underneath my skin, but that’s not the weird part, the weird part was the sound I heard in my ear after I turned my head, it was the sound of liquid trickling down from my head, past my ear and into my neck. And me being the hypochondriac that I am, I googled it, and it can be a number of things, like ear infection, cranial fluid leak, and a bunch of other worrisome things. I guess ill never know what it was.

Now lunch was less disgusting then usual, but the texture got me, I bet I looked like a mental asylum escapee the way I was tweeking out over the texture.

Now I might not stay at this hospital, I think ill move myself to the one closer to my home, so people don’t have to drive an hour (and longer) to see me. Now the reason isn’t because the nurse were mean, or because there is no toilet paper, or because the food sucks and I’m hoping for something better. No it is because so fare their only plan for getting me better is giving me pills, and I can very well do that at home by myself. And now you may be thinking “Oh but you’ve only been there 5 days, they probably have to set a schedule” buuuulllshiiiiiitttt. The woman who checked in on the same day as me, not even an hour before me, has already seen the psychologist multiple times, I have not even had talk of psychologists. And sorry man but some sort of talk therapy, or art therapy or whatever else should be part of the plan too, not just medication. So yea if all goes well I will be moving to a different hospital at one point (hopefully soon).

My hair looks like it has been fried off, as I forgot conditioner, not good.


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