Pov: you are listening to Moss yap about his life and things :P

The content of this might get sad or depressing or something. Its just like a trigger warning I guess?-----

I dont know how to really start this, i just am having a heavy day emotionally :P

My entire life I've been living somewhat a double life. I'm trans so being in the closet to parents, out to friends. It's strange having to be two different 'people' around certain people.
I've also had things from my past leech onto this, which I'm not gonna dump it all here cause its probably very against the rules and such.

So basically my entire life, I've lived many different 'lives'. doing this i guess just messed up my head somehow?
Its getting to the point where i cant look at myself in a mirror, picture, stuff like that and see Me. its like my body isn't my own and it's scary somedays.
Think of making direct eye contact with a stranger on the sidewalk. Thats how i constantly feel.

I know this can also be cause I'm trans, I obviously already don't feel like myself. But even my age, the 'person' in my head is older, or at least feels older. Which it sounds crazy to say that, but it's the truth. I've always had an older mental age, I grew up faster than my body did.
I've talked about this with some of my friends in the past, but each year it gets stronger in a sense. Plus explaining it is hard.

Its like my body is a puppet I didn't make and I'm living inside it with no way to escape. I'm the 'me' inside my head and my body is just a stranger on the street. You dont want to make eye contact with them or interact even, just keep moving, but you are forced to do just that. Its a strange and draining feeling.

I wouldn't say this is a call for help, just a "I need to get this out" which i have done on other sites, but this is one of the biggest problems I have constantly, mentally.
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