Sexual orientation

This will be my first blog entry on here or wtv, but this has been on my mind recently. U can tell what this is abt alr by the subject line but this is honestly only the second time I've given this subject much thought. The first time was in 2020 when it was on evb's mind and honestly, I just thought that I was following the "gay" hype train like everyone else and I dismissed it. But now I feel like I can't anymore, I've had two sexual dreams about one of my friends and I honestly find her to be so attractive and all I want to do all day is talk to her. I've literally never felt this way about another girl, I mean I find them attractive like Billie Eilish, Paige Bueckers, and upon recent investigation Corky from Bound which could explain something. My best friend told me that I'm probably gay and into masc lesbians so like anybody I searched them on tiktok search and OMG? Now all I can think about is having a secret masc girlfriend. The only problem with this would probably be that my parents are heavily homophobic and would kill me and or disown me if they ever found out. But I will probably just get a secret masc girlfriend in college to get it out of my system or something. UGH, they are so fine, please.