A little bit about me and things that have happened.

I'm a university student in Ukraine, i live w my dad and my stepmother. I don't speak Ukranian or Russian, although i am trying to learn. I don't have many people i can consider friends, although people ofthen love to think of me as such.People often say i give them trust, that they can feel like they can share everything w me. I don't really know how true that is. I'm friends with M, i don't like M shes also a foreign student like me, M is stupid, she doesn't know how to do alot of things, she always asks me for help. I don't like people like M, i don't like people who are weak and unafraif to ask for help, but im also very alone. I'm friends with V and her social circle. V tells me everything, V buys me things out of kindness, when we hang out w people that don't know english V tells me everything they're saying. V is nice, but shes childish. Even though we are a year apart, shes still a kid compared to me, she still wants to party and have fun everyday, she doesn't understand responsiblities like i do. 

My friends back home are nice too, although we don't talk as much anymore. I'm bad at keeping contact with people, im bad at keeping friendships intact but im trying everyday as the dear of being alone and forgotten has really been scaring me. I like spacehey although sometimes it feels like talking to a void. People don't go on here as much as me, people don't use this site to meet with people like me, people here aren't alone. I had thought of myself as not alone once to, i thought a small circle of people was all that i needed but im seeing how untrue it was. Everyone excepts something from me, a call, a text its tiring. Although i am aware of how this is normal, i don't feel like trying anymore, i don't like any of my friends anymore, they're not interesting anymore and thats scary thinking before i would have talked an talked about how much i love them.

I love this one girl, shes called G. She's pretty and funny i have loved her for 2 years now, shes the closest person that i could find that resembles me so much yet is so different. But unlike me shes scared. She's scared of alot of thingsm, i think including me. She's fragile and unstable, she has a bad family. I like to think G loves me too, i like to think every single post she makes on her socials about love is about me, but i think deep down i know that even if that were true, neither of us will make a move, cause we're both scared. She's scared of the worl and im scared of loosing her again.

idk how to end this.