Diary from a psychiatric hospital patient.

Day 4

I have got the shampoo, and met the mean nurse, I thought only your mom yells at you for hanging a piece of clothing you are not currently wearing on the back of your chair, but turns out I was wrong.

More magnesium today, and more questionable food, I swear it’s like they are afraid of adding any flavour to the food they cook. How do you make a desert not be sweet??

I’ve not done much at all, and they have yet to tell me what the treatment plan is going to look like, so far all they have done is put me on new meds and gave me magnesium, I pray this is not their only treatment plan or I might have to leave a lot sooner than planned. The hospital bracelet is irritating my skin and I need to get a new one that is less tight or ill end up with no skin on that part of my wrist.

This place is very weird, as I lay in bed not doing anything as the headache makes it hard to read, I keep thinking I’m at my grandmas, and that if I walk outside of this room, I can go downstairs and there will be my dad and my brother, my grandma will be cooking food, and ill get ice cream money to go get something sweet from the local store. It’s a very odd feeling to have, it feels like I have a lot of freedom but then I open my eyes and realize I can’t even lock the door to the bathroom, that I cannot leave the building without someone going with me. I am glad I’m not in the room with someone else.

These blogs can go 2 ways: you watching me slowly go into insanity because I cant open the window, or you watching me get better and learn to enjoy nasty food.

This is the point where I start missing things, I miss my cats, I miss normal food, I miss being able to lock the bathroom door, I miss being able to just go outside. I miss a lot of things, in general I am a person that misses. I miss the friendships I had when I was 5, I miss the feeling of my first ever bunnies fur on my hands, I miss all the people I’ve ever known and all the people I ever will know, maybe this will teach me to put things down, to find a nice shelve to put all of the things I miss, so I can look at them without having to struggle to carry all of those things at once.

My hair is so greasy I think at this point I could start cooking food for the ward instead of the cooks, at least it would have more flavour.

Today has been very boring, I hope tomorrow will be more entertaining for me.