Bleh

Hiii everyone! So everything has felt so god damn "bleh" recently, with everything that I mentioned in my last blog entry but I'm hanging in there! I was able to take a huge step and end the talking stage with someone because I realized that I'm not ready yet. I have been feeling every single emotion known to mankind for almost 2 weeks now and that's why I immediately tried to latch onto a new love interest, to feel desirable and wanted by anyone. It took talking to my friend to realize all of this and I am so so proud of myself for being able to stop the cycle I always get stuck in because of my BPD. I feel as if I didn't end things and kept talking to him I 100% would have gotten much, much worse mentally and would probably relapse because that's how BPD works unfortunately. "Bleh" is the perfect word for how I'm feeling but here's to being happier in the extremely near future <3

P.S. I hope everyone reading this is feeling amazing and having a good day. I love you <3