I hate when I miss people / Rant (again srry)

I lost my large friend group awhile back and I miss them sometimes even though it was obvious we all weren't doing the greatest as a group well more like I wasn't fitting into the group anymore but still I miss them, I miss telling my friends about the genshin or pjsk leaks or hearing them yap about their ocs and obviously I have my friends now that are amazing but its so hard getting used to just ignoring these people that I used to care so much about, but at the same time I didn't really feel cared for in the end 

like yes they were friendly but I never fit in anywhere, everyone had their duo or trio and I was just a tag along or at least that's how it felt, they also used a lot of joking bullying which was hard for me to understand because of my autism and past with bullying so when I got sad they'd just tell me its a joke and to move on but it really hurt especially when I told one of them in a group call about how someone had spread a rumor about me sleeping with a guy in our class and she said "well did you" in a mocking and kinda un readable tone joking wise, I'd told her about it before and she never did that before only in this group call and I just left after that and when someone told her to say sorry she just got off with a "but I don't like saying sorry it makes me feel so awkward"

and even in the end they never told me anything they just stopped talking to me one day until someone I barely knew started messaging me about how fucking fake I was and how putting on a fake smile at school isn't going to fix anything and that's how I found someone had taken screenshots of me venting about feeling left out like I was being treated like shit and spread it to the rest of the group when I trusted them knowing that.

I know I'm probably complaining about nothing atp but even if we had a lot of good times together all the shit they did is what I remember the most 

(sorry for the double rants Its a bad night)