Lowkey embarrassed about alot of things / Rant

I just don't really know what to do with myself anymore, sometimes my issues get so bad I just want to curl up and let the world forget me but sometimes they just go away like they were never there to begin with and it scares me, I always joke with people about my memory issues but It genuinely scares me that I could grow old one day and just forget about my teenage years, I can barely remember dates or what I did yesterday most of the time and I can't even remember what I said to someone a second ago sometimes, I just want to be able to remeber my life