Diary from a psychiatric hospital patient.

Day 3

Bright and early at 6am, hospital lights are now my mortal enemy, that is, the lights and Quetiapine withdrawls. It started as a slow headache, somewhere in the back of my mind, but alas I cannot ignore it anymore. Who makes someone go cold turkey from quetiapine??? Should be considered torture if you ask me.

Back in my now favourite spot, as I’m writing this a car alarm is going off, horrible sound. Now tell me, why are the nurses loudly laughing at 2am, now I get that they are night nurses and they need some kind of entertainment to not fall asleep, but does it really have to be entertainment that costs sleep to the others? Or maybe it is just me that hears them.

Now I have very hard to find veins, always have, newer nurses shouldn’t even try, all it will do is make me bruise like crazy. Another issue that comes with bad veins is that if you move even the slightest bit while a needle is in your arm the needle will come out of the vein, and whatever is being administered through that needle will now be going freely into your body, creating a small liquid filled balloon if left alone. This balloon is extremely painful, and cannot just be drained, so you’re left with a painful lump on your body for the next time period. So I’m sleepy from the magnesium and in pain from the liquid balloon on my arm for the next few hours.

Todays lunch looked like my cats vomit after she eats too fast and then just throws it all up, so ordering Hesburgers was my only option. My friends if you are reading this, please, bring me food.

I decided today is the day, and went for a shower, of course just like I guessed the door does not lock, BUT there is a little open/closed sign outside you put on the door so everyone knows it’s taken by someone. You can choose between a shower and a bathtub, I don’t think you’re allowed to have baths, but to me the bath is much more comforting because I can sit down in it.

Also got to practice some rejection therapy, you see, on the info wall it says you can ask for tea any time till 6pm, so, after lunch, which I did not eat, I decide to ask for tea, with the knowledge that I’m allowed to have some at this time. Well turns out I can only ask for tea at 3pm and 6pm. They are just keeping the tea I brought hostage and not letting me have it.

I hope this night I will fall asleep much faster, and I pray my dad brings me shampoo tomorrow.

PS: Someone flushed a pad down the toilet right as I was about to post this.