SKOOL SUCKZ

A town where every one knows each other + new kid with 0 social skills = HELL ... For a bit of context I did online school in freshman year (for reasons that are so dumb I don't even want to start...) So I guess that messed up my social skillz a bit ? And honestly I should've just stuck to the school I was at.

 For more context my parents have been divorced and my mom decided to move to TN. I had the choice to pick between parents and due to my fear of having my old friends despise me for crawling back to them I decided to move to TN for a bit of a "fresh start." (When it comes to life changing choices, I ALWAYS pick the worst one!) And yeah. I regret it big time. 

I actually reconnected with said friends and they told me that they weren't mad at me! (For greater context, I realize now how they sort of mistreated me... I dunno I've never had friends that put as much effort as I do into the friendship y'know?) 

But anyhow, I actually managed to become friends with this guy at my new school (we can call him Beavis) I think Beavis and his friends are cool and there have been a few cases where I did follow him like a little duckling because I didn't want to be alone. (During school events or outside waiting for the buses) Recently I've been trying to tell myself to leave Beavis and his friends alone but I just physically can't for some reason. I know that I'm probably making them uncomfortable but I just really want to be friends with them. They all know each other and I'm just some strange weirdo hovering over them. 

I honestly just feel like a total weirdo. I'm just constantly stressing out and planning out jokes to make, and I'm trying to please all of them (Because I just really, really want these people to like me!) Sometimes I can tell I overdo it around them and I just don't know what to do anymore. I get really bad FOMO seeing my old + new friends hanging out with THEIR friends while I'm all alone in my room. People barely come up and talk to me first and I honestly dunno what I'm doing wrong.

I just wish that people would like me more. :( Honestly I'm just super duper homesick. I was playing GTA V and it just made me miss the city heat. Miss actually walking on freaking sidewalks. (Sorry I'm just a city kid) AND THE THING IS ! THERE IS NO HOT TOPIC HERE ! OR ALT STORE! 

There's this store called Shirts And Things, and if you're reading this in AZ you NEED to check it out! It's so sick! The entire walls are covered in sick band shirts and there's TRIPP pants, bags, and just so much cool stuff !! I got a Hannibal Lecter figurine there, my NIN poster, and just a ton of band shirts (Make sure you DON'T put it in the dryer, I keep forgetting not to and a lot of my shirts SHRUNK.)

If you're still reading this, thank you for reading my little stupid rant about school and friends. I'm probably gonna go watch Blade tonight. There's a flea market across town that has this pretty sweet section of DVDs and ps3 games, hopefully I find a wicked zombie game.