reviewing lego set 60271

so i was thinking about something to write today because ive been trying to write regularly with blog posts, like some weird self challenge. im like a fucking ninja samurai buddhist meditating dude. i sit on top of a huge cloudy mountain surrounded by bamboo and sit in silence staring into the distance, except im not staring because my eyes are shut. thats how you know im a badass ninja with discipline because theres a fuckin beautiful japanese mountain around me and i just dont give a fuck, refusing to soak up that serene location im in. then a ninja in training comes up and tries to get me to train them and when i dont reply they have to fight me, but of course i win because im the badass old samurai man and hes the stupid american twink whos the protagonist. but even when i kick his ass i still decide the train him because im just a cool fucking ninja guy.

so anyways the blog post i decided to write about today was a review of this lego set. in all honesty i just googled set numbers so we're gonna have to actually look at what we've got here 

now this set honestly looks really shitty. and the fact that i made the image super low quality doesnt really help the shitty factor of it. but if you really care what this looks like and care about having context for this shitty half assed review then either google it yourself or suck my dick because you arent gonna get that from here

with that being said. this set sucks. its got a ton of separate scenes but nothing really connecting it all together. first of all it has some lame ass town hall which sucks ass. not only is it just the front of a town hall, but what type of boring kid wants to play with a town hall. that kid sucks and i want him to get beat up. that kid goes home to his completely beige cement room and stares at his lego on the floor, the only thing that has any sort of colour in his room and he sits down and plays with his fucking town hall lego. then a tear runs down that kids cheek because he knows he sucks. town hall kid knows that he isnt interesting and perhaps if he could simply stop playing with his shitty boring lego sets then he could be an enjoyable person to talk to but the town hall is the only thing tying him to his dead father. 

wow okay that got deep. but seriously, town halls are lame as fuck. they havent been cool since back to the future and they were barely cool then. they were just some loose thing holding the plot of that movie together. the writers simply wanted an excuse to write some incestual clusterfuck of a movie where a teenage boys weird older man friend makes him have sex with his mum. infact why did marty even have an old man friend. no one really questions or worries about this, but granted this was in the 80s where i guess perverts and their associated crimes werent as worried about, so its somewhat more understandable.

back to the lego set, the rest of the set doesnt help it. it has like i guess some cool shit but not really. it has a burger place for the lego citizens to get obese and die before there forty, and i guess a shitty tiny train. also it has a fire fighter helicopter for some fucking reason? but thats so fucking weird because there isnt a fire included in the set. also why a helicopter and not a truck. its like they were running out of things to make it £160 price tag worth it so they were like "fuck it lets throw in a helicopter. im sure the kids will be having too much fun with their fucking town hall to even notice" but granted i dont know why im confused because i guess if they managed to sell this shitty town hall nothing should come as a surprise. infact i would argue that helicopter is pretty important as this whole set is such a clusterfuck. such a piece of shit that i need something to save me when i light myself aflame out of boredom. literally burning to death would be more pleasing to the senses than this shit. id derive more enjoyment from seeing how many of the pieces i can fit up by ass then actually building the thing. or maybe id build it in my ass like one of those people who can tie a cherry stem with their tongue.

this blog was a mistake.