This is me trying.

I've been trying, trying and I'm doing what I can. Friday is the final weeks of my school, if I don't get the subjects back I'll lose instantly and I don't want to go through it but I'm afraid of it happening every time.

I don't want to be retaking and even less lose a year, I feel like I'll die if I do. I can't think about it and I'm sinking.

I can't tell anyone because they ignore me. I try to express it to my friends but they ignore me every time I bring up the subject and that makes me so bad and so sad.

I love my mom and she knows how I am but if I tell her more deeply she will repress my feelings and she doesn't know how to comfort me.

I TRY I TRY, ONLY GOD KNOWS HOW MUCH.

Only God knows how much I want to win this year.

I don't want to repeat a year, that is equivalent to being stuck in a certain way.