Mine story☆ミ

Hi, I'm Julia and I'm 15yo. 

I started blogging to help people with mental health problems. I would like to be heard, I would like someone to feel good thanks to my help. 

btw I'm from Poland, from a small, but beautiful and charming town. 

I honestly admit that I myself was in a mental hospital, I won't say it was bad, but I wouldn't want to end up there again. 

 I would like to protect you from ending up in this specific place, which is why I created this blog. 

I know it may sound funny because I am undergoing psychotherapy myself, but I have a lot of experience in such matters and I believe that I could really help someone. 

I dream that everyone who reads my blog will feel understood.

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 - that first I would like to start with something that I struggle with myself. 

depression.

I know it sounds trivial, everyone could express their opinion on this topic, and that's a fact, but I would like to share my own experience. 

Well, it started when my parents divorced, I was 9 years old. 

I was very young and divorce was difficult, but the fight for me and my sister was even harder. 

that's when my problems started, I couldn't concentrate on my classes, my mood and self-esteem dropped dramatically. 

  My dad found a partner he is with to this day. 

her daughter was never particularly nice to me, I felt she didn't like me, plus she's pretty and popular so all the kids in my village chose her over me. 

I felt left out, unneeded, I tried to integrate with them, but my opinion stopped counting, just like my presence. 

I didn't want to feel like an outcast, years passed and I was sitting at home causing more and more problems for myself. 

I started smoking and drinking alcohol. later in high school problems with marijuana began, but to that later. 

Dad started getting angry at me, my relationship with him and his partner deteriorated and I felt worse and worse about myself. 

The fact that I had to grow up at such a young age was overwhelming. 

I felt shame when I started to become addicted to pornography, I was eleven years old then. 

I didn't have it easy in primary school, people made me a pushover there which discouraged me from people even more, I didn't want to go to school. I felt redundant there even though I knew I had to learn. Homeschooling was out of the question, dad wanted me to integrate regardless of what people were like. 

three years passed, I turned fourteen, I finished eighth grade, I was happy to leave these people, this place. However, I was overcome with fear of new surroundings. 

I was afraid it would be like in primary school. 

but it turned out that it wasn't that bad. 

 at least at first... high school started and I made new friends, I felt happy because I finally felt that I was important to someone. 

I met a guy, he was in my class at first it was ok, we became friends, later we became best friends I trusted him, but over time he started to overdo it, I knew he liked me but I didn't want him , which I made clear to him. 

but he was annoying, he started touching me when I didn't want him to.

revenge was sweet, they still spit on him in the hallway because of what happened. 

luckily I don't have to watch him anymore, I changed school. 

at first it was bittersweet I met great people, but later on, drugs came into play. 

police, ambulance, investigation who gave it to me 

it came out and the friend who gave it to me was furious with me. 

However, we reconciled recently and everything is fine now. 

this was my short story, of course there were many side stories but there will be time for them too. 

feel free to ask me questions not only about me but also about you. 

I will be happy to help you with your problems, I will try to explain them and find a solution. 

thank you for reading my blog 

hold on tight!!!