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The room was quiet when our eyes met. You walked towards me with a smile on your face. I tried to adjust my face, I had been crying that morning, again. I tried to smile, and go with the flow. I greeted you with a warm hug as if we were old friends, how I greet everyone.
We walked and talked, we grew together. I talked and you listened. You showed me how to be calm and I taught you how to dance. Whenever we could, we would dance together, all night long, no breaks. Such was our life. Always dancing together.
Just like everything in life, things changed. You no longer look at me with fascinated curiosity. I am looked at as if I were a chore. A job where you cannot wait to clock out of and go back to your world. Most nights I lay in bed cold, alone. Even when you are there, you are not near. You do not hold me or dry my tears. You sit and pretend that everything is fine. And like that I convinced myself that it must be so. Everything is fine?
You no longer touch me or reach for my hand. If I mention my displeasure I am punished, made to feel unreasonable. I've already cried and cried and my heard has broken twice over. When to let go. When to release.
Feelings of self disgust wash over me. I try and swim through the lake of despair but there seems to be no end. No horizon.
I should not be surprised I suppose. I have never been fought for. I'm usually the one being left to drown. When to release?
I can keep swimming until I get pulled down by the weights dragging me to the riverbed or I could just release the chains.
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Melissa
love it, i'm trying to be comfortable with my poetry but you already are thanks for sharing:)
Glad you like it ^_^
by ~Yaya Cat~; ; Report
The Pyrrhic Llama
Wow. Yaya, this was freaking beautiful, and like... deeply personal to me. This is reminiscent of something I have just been getting over myself. Yes, kudos to you, both from the site and verbally.
by ~Yaya Cat~; ; Report