Return to the Past

One of the things that I really like about the spacehey experience is the nomenclature that returns from the my      days. Simply put, I love referring to the messaging feature as instant messages or IM for short. Of course, I was IMing before myspace by way of the AOL Instant Messaging (AIM) feature. I remember spending a fair amount of time using these services before having a passable cell phone (Although, I still love T9 to this day). The thing that perplexes me is the fact that at this point in my life I have been using Facebook several times longer than I ever used My      and to a certain extent Xanga and even AIM.

With that fact in mind, the question remains "why do I miss things like Myspace, AIM, etc and what is causing this nostalgia?". The dictionary definition of nostalgia is: "A sentimental longing or wistful affection for the past, typically for a period or place with happy personal associations." . The particular area I wanted to look at is the bit about happy personal associations. 

Back when I was using the aforementioned features I was a young teenager going to school, hanging out with friends and working at a part time job making $7.25 an hour (it was enough at the time). I was getting to the point that I was beginning to become hopelessly fixed on finding a girlfriend while also fundamentally misunderstanding the subtle nuances of mutual attraction and the fact that affection is not something that is always returned just because it is given by one party. I also began easing off of the video games to make time for other pursuits such as learning to play guitar while also not having the money to get all of the gear that I wanted but didn't have the skill to properly use (shoutout to Line6 for making an amp that made people think I could play). 

Finally I was experiencing the things that make me nostalgic today. Once I started high school I met two friends day one who I am still friends with to this day. I spent my first holiday weekend at the beach without my parents with my two best friends and one of their parents. I often think of those four days because that is when I learned what good friends are (blog to come). I would go into relationships that came in the following few years of high school but I would be off task at that point so I'll tell you about that later.

So now that I have framed my stance on nostalgia, I have to ask: was it My      and instant messaging that I miss so much or is it the era that surrounded those two things. Looking at today, I have a great job, I can afford all of my bills, I have my hobbies and the means to continue enjoying them, and best of all I have Eve who showed up at just the right time to complete my life and show me what a good relationship is. Ultimately, I have lost a lot of contact with all of those people that made my life such a joy in the past, although we are still friends, as distance and obligations have made interactions difficult. 

To wrap this up my current situation is need V.S want. I need to make money to survive, I need to work to make money, I need to fill my down time, and I need to have a good relationship (Eve is my number one pick so this area is a double win for myself). I want to have less responsibility, I want to drop everything and hang with friends, I want to blow all of my money on that thing I have been thinking about. If I was less responsible I would indulge in my wants but in general I don't "want" to. A lot of the realities of my past still have a home in the back of my mind most days and that is okay. Barring time travel, reincarnation with preexisting knowledge, or a universal reset this is my reality right now and that is also fine. I choose to count my blessings and remain grateful for the things that I have today while also being thankful for all of the people, jobs, experiences, and choices that have gotten me to this point. I'm sure this is a lot to take in in one go (it took a lot to write all this down) but hey it's my thoughts so I have to deal with them and you chose to deal with them so welcome to the club. Anyway I'm going to make a call and upload a profile picture so I'm not some disembodied voice anymore.

Thanks for reading.

-Brandon