11/04/2024

it is rainy outside and i looked at the radar and it looked like a snowman was passing throu

we had our show in chicago last week ! i am currently reviewing this edited footage put together by a kid named jaie

this video does Look cool as shit i fucking love the editing. however as i was told and as i feared the sound leaves a fucking lot to be desired LMAO -- during our set you absolutely can not hear any bass/guitar or vocals whatsoever ! i definitely don't mean to be a bitch but genuinely nobody knows how to mix noise and it is kind of fucking infuriating you genuinely can only hear the tracks and the keys and that's literally only half of the atmosphere the music is supposed to build Like. i broke dk's high e string another time for no fucking reason LOL i guess that means nobody could hear how fucked the guitar sounded as a result but. it was also annoying cuz it wasn't even just for us during boyslut none of his vocals were coming through either and i could tell he was putting his all into that shit lik u gotta be kidding me i think we're bringing dk's PA to every show now just in case i really don't trust anyone else to mix us atp lmfao

on a more positive note though it was so refreshing to play on a lineup that was all real ass experimental & real ass noise -- nobody else is doing it like that in peoria & i wholeheartedly admired each performance. shiningyula's set was one of the most interesting sets i've seen ; it started out with some skramzy vocals and thrashing around everywhere which was a thrill and later on they were making noise with records on a record player, scratching the needle everywhere, turning the records manually backwards and forwards, bending the records -- i thought that method in particular was so fucking sick and it sounded really cool. boyslut is also bringing it gay and crass style the way i want to see in this world but everybody too scared to do. while he was playing shiningyula was also on stage next to him carving "I <3 BOYSLUT" into a pumpkin -- the entire night up to the end of boyslut's set there was a giant sheet of plastic on the stage and draped onto the floor ; this was because at the end of the set he stuck the mic inside the pumpkin and smashed it, which Fucking Ruled. since estrogen molotov's conception as a project performance art has been a part of the vision, but we haven't found a way to incorporate more of that yet ; seeing the incorporation of something less musical and more performance in boyslut's set was sick and i definitely came away from the entire experience rejuvenated and very inspired -- i definitely hope we can kick it with these folks more in the future cuz in simplest terms they get it. i'm overjoyed & humbled to have had the opportunity to share a stage with minds such as theirs

the following day was halloween and we all took siah trick or treating(: after the weather we had been having i wasn't hopeful for a halloweeny halloween but it actually ended up being pretty cold. we drove to another area of the neighborhood not too far from the house and he ended up getting tired and wanting to take a break but it was way too cold to just be sitting outside ; he powered through it well and we went back to the house and watched over the garden wall before rice and i went home

here is our display of gourds and pumpkins and fall flowers at home :

on saturday at work i listened to jenny marion's new album bloodplay and i would say it definitely lived up to the over 2 years' worth of LP 4 hype -- to my dismay i have grown to be daunted by album lengths exceeding like 40 minutes but there isn't a single dull moment on this album. this album does an incredible job of creating a world and immersing you in it. my favorite tracks are ad astra per aspera, centerpiece, & foundation ; i also love i <3 feedbaack and shame. jenny is one of the hardest working musicians i know and i have endless respect for her ability to start a project & patience to see it through to completion and her unwavering dedication to creativity & creating ; it goes without saying but that's no excuse not to say i'm grateful every day to get to have jenny in my life

the cover art is also cool even tho it reminds me almost exactly of something i drew one time not an accusation just an observation jenny marion and maybe she did it first i dont kno The point is fw bloodplay or die ok

this album, ad astra per aspera in particular, and a lot of other listening & seeing as of late (godspeed you! black emperor's slow riot for new zero kanada, boyslut) have been giving me many You Can Just Do That ? epiphanies and i am going to start making an active effort to allow less ideas to slip through the cracks ; i've had countless concepts over the years that haven't left my skull for any reason from inadequacy to inadequacy to laziness and a fear of sharing my full and honest self with others & while many of them were total bullshit the more i listen to and see this kind of offbeat much more atmospheric stuff the more i'm starting to realize there may be merit to my ideas and they may be worth making and it may be satisfying and good to make stuff ?

but we'll see if that actually happens

i want to start working more on a zine too i have the general concept in mind and i have a decent handful of writings i would want to include and plenty of pictures and artwork but the problem now is actually putting in the time and effort to lay it out

we'll see when that happens

i listened to leaves turn inside you today and it was awesom and also a handful of my favorite they might be giants songs that have been stuck in my head thanks to the discussion i had with lennon and rice about them the other day

to conclude we have another show coming up at the end of this month in peoria and this is the first place i am personally announcing it

i am so very excited to be the most offputting obnoxious faggiest fuckers at the yeehaw function hopefully we actually sound good this time

ps i also fixed the pictures in my 09/25 blog if anybody gaf they're hosted on catbox now so hopefully they are visible everywhere

good night