Being clean...

Even tho its been about 8 months now that I have been clean.. u would think I would be happy about it but no I don't, even up until now I get the urge to yk. Dont get me wrong it has been somewhat easier for me but its always that little thought in the back of my mind constantly telling me that I still deserve it and that no one will give a shit anyways. I just thought after a certain amount of time it will stop but clearly it hasn't..